SINagogueBDSM
Shalom and Welcome to the SINagogue. This is a podcast for consenting adults for information, education, and entertainment on BDSM, sexuality, and all things related. If you’re not a legal, enthusiastically consenting adult, then … *pick up the needle, press pause, or turn the radio off*.
I am your host, and they call me the Rabbi. I put the SIN in SINagogue. I am a cisgender, ambimorous, gynesexual, sadistic bratty daddy-dom. Sex therapist by day, and a kink educator by night, and in both those roles, I help people make their kink a religious experience. While I am a mental health professional, this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a replacement for therapy. Seek out the assistance of a trained professional for help with your specific situation.
SINagogueBDSM
Ep16 - "Kink School" with Hope Lythi
Ep16 - "Kink School" with Hope Lythi
Experience the exhilarating world of BDSM at KinkSchool Virtual Convention, Nov. 21 to 24th! With four days of classes, KinkSchool prioritizes consent, communication, and personal growth. Open dialogue, safe practices, and valuable resources are at the forefront.
KinkSchool offers a variety of workshops, seminars, and demos on topics ranging from consent/negotiation to specific kinks and fetishes, tailored to all levels. KinkSchool is a chance to connect with the community, learn skills, and explore kinks from home.
Hope Lythi is founder of KinkSchool. She dreams of spreading good education, especially in rural locations. She believes kink education should be available to everyone. At the beginning of the pandemic, Hope joined TikTok and found the kinky side. KinkTok was missing much-needed education. She started making kink education clips for TikTok and teaching classes over Zoom. KinkSchool was born!
- KinkSchool.ca Use code SINagogue10 for 10% off!
- Fetlife.com/Kink_School
- Facebook.com/KinkSchool
- Instagram.com/KinkSchoolCa
- X.com/KinkSchoolCa
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SINagogue hosts and guests are subject matter experts but not *the* expert. We believe outside of violating consent, there's no wrong way to kink except to think your way is the only way. The show is presented from a RACK (Risk-Aware Consentual Kink) point of view, not SSC (Safe Sane Consentual) because each person’s definition of safe is different based on their risk profile. Use of the word "safe" on the show fits our definition, and that doesn't have to be your definition.
Reminder, we try to make our content as inclusive as possible regardless of gender, orientation, role in the lifestyle, etc., but we do inherently speak from our own point of view. We want to learn from our mistakes. If you feel like we said something offensive, let us know. Reach out via our website or call us at 469-269-0403.
Today’s show was brought to you in part by the letters S and M, and the Number 69.
*San Dimas High School Football Rules*
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Shalom and Welcome to the SINagogue. This is a podcast for consenting adults for information, education, and entertainment on BDSM, sexuality, and all things related. If you’re not a legal, enthusiastically consenting adult, then *pick up the needle, press pause, or turn the radio off*.
Subscribe to this podcast on our website, SINagogueBDSM.com
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Hosting with me today is my partner, my ADHD squirrel wrangler, my submissive, my brat, my little, my pony, or just my little pony. Awwww. The bender to my fry, little bit. Seriously? Yes. This is episode number 16 and with us today is hope. Litty, to talk to us about kink school. Experience the exhilarating world of BDSM at kink school virtual convention. With four days of classes, kink school prioritizes consent, communication, and personal growth. Open dialogue, safe practices, and valuable resources are at the forefront. We create an environment that rosters respect, understanding, and empowerment. Unlock realms of pleasure, self discovery, and connection. Kink school offers a variety of interactive workshops, seminars, and performances on topics ranging from consent and negotiation to specific kinks and fetishes tailored to all experience levels. Kink school provides a chance to connect with community members, learn skills, and explore your kinks from the comfort of your home. Spray your desires, expand your knowledge, and let the allure of kink and velbue. But first, a word from our sponsor. Hope Litty is the founder of kink school. She has a dream of spreading good education to others, especially in rural locations. She believes kink education should be available to everyone. At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, Hope joined TikTok and promptly found the kink side of things. Kink was missing much needed education. She started making kink education clips for TikTok and started teaching classes over Zoom. Kink school was born. Before the pandemic, Hope took her experience from learning in Toronto through deviant Toronto, second circle, and subspace Toronto. She started to host her local much, bringing kinks from all walks of life and levels of experience together in a safe environment. Thank you for being here in the synagogue, Hope. Tell us about kink school. Welcome. Hi. Hi. I think I think kink school was born out of the pandemic. Having a con had always been something I thought about. But I could remember when I was starting out as a little baby kinkster that there wasn't a lot in my area. I had travel five, six hours on a bus to get to any sort of classes or educational stuff. And cons all happen in cities, which makes sense. So I used to travel around to more rural areas to do classes. And having a traveling con was just really not in the cards for me. Owning a con is very expensive and pricey. So when the pandemic hit, I was watching all the virtual events start happening in the virtual classes and I was like, hey, I bet I can do something with this. So I learned how to use discord despite really trying not to. I resisted for a good couple of years learning how to use discord. And now I am like a little bopsmith about it. And Zoom was another program that was very irritating to use, especially getting subtitles to work at first. It was a chore and a half. But we figured it out. And King's school was kind of born and that I wanted it to be an event that brought people together from wherever they were located at a reasonable price. Because I do remember the bus ride being expensive and not really being able to afford to go to these big cons and if I could afford to go to the con then I couldn't afford the travel expense to get there or the hotel expense when I was finally there. So an online virtual con felt like something that made it more accessible, which was something that I'm very passionate about because I struggled with it myself as a baby kingster. I mean, yeah, absolutely. Even if you are close to things, they're still expensive. Yeah. I frequently tell people they're like, "How do you afford it?" And I'm like, "I don't most of the time." And taking the con into a virtual platform, starting it there definitely meant the upfront cost of running the con and owning the con was significantly lower. I'm not looking at hotel contracts or big equipment rentals, things like that. I still have expenses, but it's not as big as an in-person con would be. They're more manageable. Yeah. Yeah. And full disclosure to our listeners, I'm on the board with hope to run this event. So this is very much, I will say, an advertisement for it because it is a event I very much believe in. And I want to promote it as much as I can. Yes. And we've, I've loved having you on the board. It's been a huge, huge stress reliever for me. I think school almost did not happen this year. King School 2024 almost did not happen in 2023. I kept saying, "Oh, this might be the last one." So of huge thank you to you, Rabbi, and everyone who is stepped up to make sure that I am not completely burnt out this year. So more than glad to help. Given my line of work as a therapist, it's hard to be involved in the local community without asking to worry about some ethics. So being involved in this international event, I will say, absolutely perfect for me. Being part of the virtual community has been weird. I was primarily an in-person gangster pre-COVID. And so the virtual community has opened up a lot, but I definitely, definitely didn't expect the virtual community to be so big and so vast as it is. So you are based out of Canada. I'm in the United States. What kind of other countries have attended? So as for attending, I pretty much, I believe we've been present on every single continent, except for Antarctica, as for people attending. Presenters, we've had presenters. We have a lot from the UK. I somehow have a lot of UK connections. We have a lot of Americans. We've had quite a few from Australia. And I believe this year we even have some from South Africa. Very cool. I believe so. Which will be a first for Kings School, I believe. That presenter from South Africa. I'm pretty happy about that. Well I am too. So walk us through how the weekend works. So usually, and this year is no exception, Thursday is kind of belong to me. There we start off with an opening ceremony, which I will go ahead and announce, as I'm not sure if we have on our social media yet, that we do have our international person of leather, Mara, will be keynoting at our opening ceremonies. Which is the first time we are having a keynote. And then Thursday's, I say kind of belong to me in that I teach kind of like basics on Thursday's. And we don't put any other classes against it. So right after opening ceremonies, we have our consent class. And I don't have anything competing against the consent class because I believe everyone shouldn't have to choose between a consent class and really anything else. So well there are a lot of other consent classes on the schedule. I make sure that there is at least one that is not being competed against. And then I usually just teach another one of my repertoire for Thursday. And then we kind of just leave room open and we leave the discord open for like social time and getting to know one another as attendees. Then we start Friday, right and early, depending on your time zone. And we go through a bunch of classes and we take some lunch breaks, whether that's your lunch time or not because we are worldwide. But we do break for lunch and dinner. Because apparently we just run on my time during the con. And we do that Friday, Saturday, Sunday after our dinner break. Well, we kind of skip dinner break and then we have Karis who runs a group. We have a group of friends who will also run a group of friends who will be in the group. And then we end up just kind of getting some nice relaxation. It's a hypnosis group trance which also can look like guided meditation. And it just kind of winds everyone down after the con. As we all know, con drop is a very real thing and turns out online cons are zero exception to that. And then the con off with some relaxation and grounding is some of the best ways to do it. And then we have our closing ceremonies and then normally the hypno-kinksters we play a little game called speed trance. Which is just a mixer. It's kind of like speed dating and whether you end up doing hypno or not is up to you completely. But we have a little bot that groups people together based off of the roles that they pick in the discord server. We have a full, pretty much full schedule this year. For the first time ever, we are running three tracks, which is a lot for kink school. We normally only run two. And so opening that third track gave us the opportunity to add a lot more classes in as we're expanding and getting a lot more diverse classes in. One thing that I've done on the presenter side at cons, and I've always hated this because I usually get time zone and jet lagged and end up teaching at what feels like five in the morning my time. And I don't know who makes the schedules for cons. But whoever decided that kinksters wake up at eight in the morning capable of taking classes or teaching classes. And then partying all the night before and doing play parties the night before. I don't know who makes these schedules, but my brain doesn't wake up until noon at best. So with us being international, I allow my presenters to pick their own time slots. I present a schedule and I say, "Hey, put yourself on it. Be mindful that there are lots of different time slots. So please pick something that works for you." Like, if you're in a North American time zone on the western part of North America, maybe you want to take the 13 UTC time zone class because you're going to be awake at that time and not leave the Australian presenter teaching it for in the morning their time. Right. Yeah. I mean, I'm looking at the schedule. We haven't made that schedule public yet because we're still working out some holes in the schedule. But classes from, well, 15 hours with the classes on Friday and Saturday and only 14 on Sunday. Which does make sense because there are no nighttime classes on Sunday. We do stop after 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time or 22 UTC. My math's terrible. That's 11, 10. Yeah. Yeah. 10 classes. I have it written beside on the schedule. The schedule used to be in HST, which we designated Hope Standard Time. And whatever time that is is whatever time, mic, computer or phone says it is depending on my location because King School has been run from different time zones multiple times. One of the benefits of a virtual con is it's run from wherever your computer is. So if you are a person who likes to travel across countries, you can run it from a hotel room or even one of the presenters coaches one year. So it's not expected for attendees that they will attend to every one of the 38 hours. Oh no. Classes. No, no. It's like any con. You choose your schedule. Pick, choose what interests you. No one is going to be offended if you can't make it to their class. No one is going to be offended if you enter a class and it's not what you expected and there maybe you were picking between two classes and you went to one and it just wasn't what you expected. No one's going to be mad at you for leaving and going into the other one. I will say we do have one class on the schedule this year and we normally have at least one class on the schedule that is this. Once the warnings, the trigger warnings are read, the room will be locked and you will not be able to get in and if you leave you will not be able to get back in in that case once the trigger warnings are given and that's just out of respect for consent. This year that happens to be a needle demo. So tell us about some of the classes. So I'm very happy this year we have quite a few either former title holders or current title holders that are teaching this year the leather community has shown up to King's school which I'm very happy about. So we have our international personal leather who is key noting and also teaching their class Old Guard, Relic or relevant. We have Charlie Dahl who is a title holder. So the West, the first of leather teaching, teaching a couple of classes which I do have on good faith that there might be one more being added to Charlie Dahl's schedule as well. And do you have one of those classes that are on pony play? Yes, there is a pony play. This will be King's school's first pony play class. You don't see pony play classes very often so I was not going to say no. One of the classes is going to be it's called "Hey, my tits are down here." And then both Dahl's and Trophies and Charlie Dahl will also be teaching it's just a diaper for AVDL. And just a small correction according to their profile on the website they are Rocky Mountain Person of Latter-Not-South. Rocky Mountain Person of Latter-Not-South. I'm so sorry Charlie Dahl if you're listening. I'm terrible at remembering things in general. I mean the Rocky Mountains are in the Southwest so it's understood. Vocation wise I was correct. They also did a run for international person of leather. They being Charlie and Mara Mara one as well which we were all very happy of. And about that title run family was amazing and super supportive of each other. We were very happy to see it. Devon Stone will be returning. Lather Chaplin will be here for the first time as well. Teaching some amazing classes, a financial domination class which will also be a first for King's School and a religious trauma class which will be a first for King's School as well. Very cool. And I also see Dave or 2020 Huntsight is on there. He's teaching rope and he's been a guest on the show before episode number four I think. I believe so. Yes. One of those things for some reason we always struggle to find rope teachers at King's School even though rope is where I got my start in the community. One of these days I'm going to end up teaching it myself and I don't want to drop any more. The joke is that I have forgotten more about rope than many people will ever know. Oh we have Princess Rara of Pink King as well teaching. Nick's Lunéa as well. Nick's has been a solid part of the King's School furniture which is the joke of presenters who come back every year because I love them and we love their classes and yeah we also have Sir Luke and his victor who recently opened a place based down in Florida I believe it's called the index. Yeah. You are teaching Saturday morning apparently. Yeah I figured it was better to just get it all out of the way at once rather than hopping in and out but Electric Mayhem, ElectroPlay with the Violet and Dorianneon Want, Bratty Daddy's What the Hell and Instruments of Aspercussion, Introduction to Body Drumming. I'm so excited how we're going to be able to go to that one. Good to know that's when those are happening. And you know we've said Thursday Friday Saturday but I don't think we've said the dates yet have we? Nope. That might be important. Just a little bit. Oh yes November 21 through November 24th. And that is the weekend before Thanksgiving for those of you here in the United States. I remember when I was picking weekends I purposely did not pick Thanksgiving weekend for the Americans which I know is we are considering I start on the Thursday but I figure most people are probably going to be around some people family say that don't necessarily know that they're kinky so I figured we'll do it the weekend before. I also wanted to show it at a presenter who will be returning this year. Under the name of Oliver Kestrel this is my kink child and I'm very proud of them. Lord Allen is also coming. Lord Allen was the inspiration behind the Council of Indigenous Leather which I am also on the board of because those of us who do board things we tend to pull ourselves in so many directions. But of course. Right. What is a community volunteer if they do not volunteer for everything? I'm seeing Andy Vice on the schedule. I want to make sure I'm not leaving anyone out but I kind of jumped all over the place here. Mixed dizzy and pup ricker on the schedule. The 20 DOM I'm excited for the 20 DOM's classes as well. They are teaching Chastity Class and Mindful Service 201. The needle demo will be done by Radically Dark and KLSP. Some people may know them from the reign of Bloodcon. Full disclosure, KLSP. One of their partners is also on the board of kink schools so I definitely like to pull the strings that I have to get the fun things on kink school which half of the job is just knowing who to contact and putting that call out. Sure. And one of the things I like about the lineup is yes there are names I'm familiar with but there's also names I'm not familiar with which means I'm going to learn something I haven't learned before. I always say even if it's a 101 class I've been around the community for a minute so even if it's a 101 class. I like to go as a presenter as well just because I might be out of date and I would like to know what I'm missing from my classes. If I'm teaching something that's been outdated I would like to update and make sure that I'm not completely off base either. There's always something new. Oh absolutely. I'm teaching an electro-play class but every time I take somebody else's I learn something new or come up with a new trick that I've never seen before. So there's always new stuff out there. There is. Even I look at me and you we actually teach a very similar class as on our class list. Kink on a budget. Yes. I haven't taught mine so long it's been a while but I believe mine is called the"break me" not the bank. Oh that's fantastic. Yeah. It's just dollar store ideas, tips and tricks and what you can cheap out on what you should shouldn't cheap out on. Things like that but every time I've seen your class there's always something that I'm like "I wish we had that at dollar store in Canada." So tangent, I taught that for a group in the UK. In the UK they do not have dollar stores they have what they call "pound town." I love it. It's so nice. It means something completely different here in the states. Yep. I love it when Americans slang and UK words just mean completely opposite things. Oh yeah. Like Fanny Pack. Oh. Oh huh. Telling you something. I can guess what that means. I once was on a discord call and told someone that I had a bunch of candy in my Fanny and that was very... Yeah. I got a couple cameras that turned on to look at me weird from that one. And I was like "you know, Fanny Pack." So you need to provide context when you say things like that. So what makes King School different from other virtual conferences? So as far as virtual conferences go, King School... We try to diversify the education that we bring in. We try not to specialize in one particular genre of the community. Even if it's something I... Especially if it's something I haven't heard of before. Oh, I want that class. Absolutely want that class. At the same time, King School was one of the first virtual cons to come out of the COVID era. I make it kind of no secret. My usually will pass on the template to anyone who wants to start their own. I just ask that they don't take the same weekend as King School if they're starting your own. But it's about the diversity of the classes. I also keep the price, the ticket price down as far as I can. I pay my presenters. And one of the most important things going into me with me for King School was that we do something to give back. So 10% of all ticket proceeds goes to... Not proceeds. 10% of all ticket sales goes to a charity. We kind of... Every year the board sits down and we talk about what charities we'd like to put forward. We put out a...usually we put out a Google kind of form and we let everyone who is presenting on the board or attending vote. And then we donate that to the chosen charity. We donated to Peafleg a couple of times which helped I know sponsor security for a dry queen story hour at the library which was really cool. Last year we donated... I believe it was last year. We donated to a group that was driving trans people from Florida across state lines so that they could get gender of firm and care because Florida at the time was not the safest place for trans people. It still isn't but medically people were struggling at that time. So that was the charity that we did. We've also donated to Planned Parenthood. I have a couple in mind for this year but I usually don't know what charity we are donating to until the end of the con and I usually try to get that out by the end ceremony. I usually tell the amount that we will be donating. So that's something that I think separates King's School from the others is that we make sure our presenters are paid. We're donating to charity. And I also leave the discord kind of open for a very long time so that the presenters and the people who attended can continue the conversation after class. There can be questions and things like that if they need to do. That's really cool. Yeah. I mean so often it is after class I'm hit by a barrage of questions and then I never hear from people again. You make it possible for those questions to come a week later a month later whatever it is which is what one wonderful for me because I'm not getting the barrage but two great for them because you know what I forgot to take a note on this one little thing I need to go ask and don't have to hunt and track down the presenter. Yeah one thing I will say that is caught me by surprise with King's School is there is usually someone taking notes and they will post the link to their notes right in the class discord channel that's related and oh it makes me so happy. I usually am like oh wow okay this is great. Now that is not a promise that someone does it for every class but usually it just kind of happens. It happens and people note share and it's also great to have that form for people to ask questions because a lot of times people have the same question and a lot of times people have the same question and are scared to ask it and you can just see all the questions that are being asked and answered. So if you're shy you don't have to feel pressure to ask a question that you want answered either because you can see it happening and if you're like me you don't process things for a couple of days and then you think oh I should have asked that question and you can either see if it's already been asked or ask it yourself at that point. So other than a ticket what do you need to attend King's School? You need to be over the age of 18 and willing to prove that with a piece of government ID you need to be able to use Discord and Zoom. Yeah the piece of government ID we just what we end up doing is we do this really cool verification process where you open a ticket using one of our Discord bots it asks you a couple questions to make sure that you've read the rules it asks you what year you were born and then one of our verification people will ask you if you're ready for a random word and if you are ready you say yes they give you a random word which is very fun it is usually the first noun or adjective that I hear while watching a TV show or whatever song is playing I'm like ah the amount of times it has been bubble gum is a bit ridiculous but now that I've said that out loud I definitely can't use bubble gum anymore and so we'll give you a random word and you would write that on a piece of paper with today's date and take a selfie holding that piece of paper please blur out anything on the ID but then put the piece of paper beside your ID all we need to see is that your picture matches your selfie and the date of birth we don't need to see anything else and I would really prefer not to see anything else and then you can once we verify that yes you are in fact over the age of 18 we apply a role you can either delete the picture or the picture will delete itself well when we delete the verification ticket and generally us in order to prove that you've paid for your ticket just a screenshot of the email is great and if you're not don't know how to blur it out you can put your thumb over the information you can put a post a note over the information oh yeah block it out somehow I actually have a piece of paper that I've cut perfectly to fit over all the information on my ID and I I will stick a piece of tape on it over and take pictures with that piece of paper and I keep that piece of paper taped to my computer desk because many many many kinky discords require age verification personally I won't be involved in any discord server that doesn't and is kinky it's just a safety thing sure I mean this is a logical step to make sure everybody is legal and you can't be there in person to check their ID that is actually the only case of people not posting their ID is there have been a few times where I am at a con and I am standing next to the person and looking at their ID in person then I will forego the posting of the pictures of the ID because they are in person but everyone presents ID and if you want a ticket where do you go to buy them you can go to www.kinkschool.ca not.comca it is a Canadian site therefore kinkschool.ca and just use the navigation use tickets and you can buy the tickets right there on our website yes it is through event bright but if you are not in Canada and you get kicked into the app it won't let you buy tickets which is this weird quirk so just buy them straight off our website rather than event bright that makes life way easier to do it straight from the website yeah and how much are tickets tickets are $40 Canadian which hang on oh it is super cheap right now here$24 doing amazing which is $29.64 USD oh wow yeah US dollars doing amazing I think it might be the Canadian dollar doing really bad well that is possible too I was trying to be positive that is okay I am aware are you still looking for volunteers to help out with this of that absolutely if you know anything about zoom and don't mind reading a speech that honestly you will hear me read about 10,000 times differently because I give up reading the speech halfway through the con and going through a little tiny bit of training of what to look out for we are absolutely looking for class mods and we may and probably will have a need for what we call a text as well and these would be the people who are responsible for opening the zoom rooms and potentially as well opening the discord rooms as well as the discord rooms do not appear the class rooms for the discord do not appear until about 10 minutes before the class starts so as an attendee if you don't see the class you want to tens class in the discord channels don't worry you will once the class is about to start and then it will stay there forever presenters do see their class on the discord the whole way through in place they have things to post but we could be looking for texts and mods we're always always always looking for volunteers if financials are an issue please just open a ticket there are scholarship tickets and I never want financials to be an issue or barrier to anyone who's getting seeking education I know what it's like to be broke and not uh not financially secure I used to try to get out into classes on $450 a month which is not yeah is not easy no that's a lot of volunteer time there's a lot of volunteer time um it's almost like they trained me to be a volunteer or something and the most I guess that's how you came up with your uh king on a budget class because that's how I came up with mine yeah I have a guitar case full of toys but it's just uh really budget friendly king toys gosh my guitar case is my toy bag it's one of those covert ways to get away with carrying around a toy bag if you are a person who needs to go between venues people don't ask questions if you're carrying around a guitar and if they do ask questions you tell them that you learned how to play Wonderwall or smoke on the water yesterday and then they stop asking questions and to help out our listeners with the price of tickets if you want to use coupon code synagogue 10 that's synagogue with an i just like always that'll get you 10% off your tickets absolutely um also keep an eye if you know a presenter is presenting at uh king school keep an eye on their social media a lot of them do also have discount codes as well ask them for one absolutely and if they don't have one they'll ask me what you mean and then I will get them one so this is your four this is year four but the fifth con because the second year we did two cons in one year cool which will not happen again ever no no no that was exhausting uh once a year is great so from the first three years what has been your favorite moment oh okay so usually my favorite moment happens there's it's always a different moment every con that happens um but usually it is watching how much people learn um and I know that's kind of a cop out answer but I do uh the the running joke is that world domination is my king and um I like to do that through education so for me the favorite moment is watching someone learn something that they didn't know before that other people have known for like years and thought was common knowledge and it's just like yes there was a gap and we filled it um on a less kind of professional note my personal favorite moments are that we have an out of context quotes channel on this court server and that channel just gets filled up throughout the con and it is usually the most absurd things that anyone could ever say um and usually I end up making merch with some of those things on that so uh be careful what you do say at kinkschool can and will end up on a t-shirt at some point in time um which is always a favorite of mine um there was uh one year I was trying to explain how I am not in fact a little while I was cuddling my stuffies and eating a happy meal from McDonald's um I promptly shut up after that and went no never mind I see your point uh ask again later those are usually my favorite moments is the out of context quotes moments um generally by saturday night we're all a little tired because we've all been pulling days of education and our brains are just mush and so the best out of context quotes come out of probably saturday nights fair I know there was something I said that wound up in there but I can't think of what it was right now probably and it's it's full of me having dumb blonde moments um it's my specialty so what is something you know now about putting on an event that you wish you knew at the beginning oh see I wrote a whole class on this but to sum it up the one thing I wish I knew most going in and I think I knew it a little bit but I don't think the words meant anything to me until I did it was you will never please everyone and that's okay because someone will always make it a hundred percent worth it I think of that with um I teach a frenzy class and a lot of people are like this class is dumb I don't like it doesn't apply to me but at least one person every time I teach that class comes back to me months later and sends me a message and is like hey you know this bit in your class that you said the thing I saw that tonight and so I didn't do the thing and I ended up safe and so for me having the one person reach out and give that feedback makes it worth it um it's a lot of stress um so one thing I do wish I knew going in is that the people tend to forget to leave feedback um so if you're in a tandy please leave feedback because it makes event producers and it makes presenters very happy even if you just kind of enjoyed it leave us feedback that says yeah it was okay great feedback absolutely and also don't be afraid to give the compliment a year later too I can't tell you how much that makes my day that you will remember who I was right let alone remember what you've learned enough to hunt me down later and say thank you absolutely um yeah so owning a con is a lot more stressful than I think a lot of people realize I tend to not sleep or eat or do anything except for worry about my con while it's going on to the point where I have a team of people who check in on me and basically tell me I'm not allowed to look at my computer until I've eaten something so and that is unacceptable for a virtual con to not have my computer being looked at so fair I mean there's a concept out there called 99% in Dizzle which says if you do your job right 99% of what you do goes unnoticed so if people aren't noticing all the work you're doing you're doing a good job at that yeah uh that's but it's actually kind of a well-known fact about King School at this point um however I think it's just because I say it out loud uh King School has yet to go off without some form of major disaster happening um King School has happened during a hurricane uh King School last year was I don't know how we did it a fire broke out in my hometown two hours before con start um to which I was delivering water to firefighters on the front one the front lines like that fire was the largest in my province this history and it burned for weeks and um on top of that our co-chair ended up having a surprise vanilla guest so could not do things and our other tech person ended up having apartment issues with uh his apartment and had to go be in a hotel and had to basically try to help out of his phone when he could oh goodness yeah oh jeez I don't know how we pulled that one together with all three of at the time King School's board was only three members but all three of us were basically out of commission um this was last year this was last year yeah well you did an amazing job because I had no idea any of that was going on and I attended and taught so we're all going to y'all a lot of people did not until like the closing ceremonies um it was very and that's the thing like King School has yet to go off without some form of like natural disaster or like I said one year I taught from a a presenters couch because I was in the middle of moving across the country and it happened to just be that weekend oops so let's make sure we pay our insurance premiums before this year's event here oh yeah they're on automatic so we're good yeah uh welcome to the board um just so you know it is not exclusively me that these disasters happen around uh last year it got the entire King School board so jeez goodness make sure your insurance is up to date right yeah no mine mine set for automatic payment so we're I'm set no it's it's it's shaping up to be a good year for King School um um I we have the new website thank you very very much for that um you're welcome I definitely love the new website uh if you haven't been to kinkschool.ca in a while go to kinkschool.ca um we very much are happy about it and it looks a lot better so is there anything else you would like our listeners to know about kinkschool? we're pretty um we're pretty like that I know a lot of people are scared to go to events um there is no pressure to participate in anything you do not want to participate in there's no pressure to talk um some presenters do prefer if you have your camera on but there's really no pressure to do that either um oh please be clothed if you were on camera at kinkschool um no no bits on camera please um unless you are a presenter and that is part of your class but but like don't be scared um we don't take ourselves too seriously um and all questions are good questions chances are if you are thinking that you want to know someone else is thinking that they want to know too and they're just too scared to ask it okay well now we come to the part of the show that we like to call inside the kinkster studio where we get to know you uh a little better are you game oh yeah would you like to go first sure why not what's your favorite toy in your toy bag oh can I cheat and just say my rope even though like it's a bag of rope that counts that totally counts what is the strangest purchase you have ever made in the kinksensor in like the regular sense all of the above oh oh okay in the kinksense the strangest purchase I've ever made um oh no this probably I bought a violet one off wish okay okay how'd that go so it's actually just kind of a weak violet one oh okay so a good introductory violet one right um nice it glows orange for some reason but you know different type of gas yeah yeah um it yeah it works fine enough I got the contact pad hooked into it and uh I do not take the contact pad out of it because I did uh the insert it was very flimsy so if I take contact pad out it takes like 45 minutes to get back in so I just don't um yeah that's probably the weirdest thing that uh I have bought in the kink world um for kink purposes um and just because like I did not expect it to work out and I was like this is potentially dangerous but it worked out um in the vanilla sense um um recently I purchased and recently I mean like over six months ago but I purchased about a hundred rubber duck slingshots or rubber chicken slingshots sorry um and you know those like little you know like how people paying like elastic bands at each other yeah so it's exactly like that but you put your finger in under the beak of the rubber chicken and then you pull back on its feet and you ping them across the room um and I simply bought that to annoy my bandinate send my partner with and no other reason than ratti annoyance that is a perfectly justifiable reason right I do have a rule though because they they came individually wrapped in plastic that I will only ever have three open at a time but they're rather flimsy so when they break I throw it out in open-anyone because I like them to be fresh when they ping because they just sting a little bit more than if they're not covered in dust that's awesome so what's something that as you've gone through all of this like you've learned about yourself um through kink that's been surprising to you no no okay so the thing that's been surprised that surprised I think everyone the most from when I first joined is that I'm a brat um those who know me now are probably all throwing up an eye eyebrow um but when I came into the scene I was very shy I couldn't speak in public at all so my self-growth journey through kink has been huge I present at multiple cons virtually in in person every year public speaking is a thing that I do apparently with presenting um and I have no problem speaking up for myself now which is huge um the thing that I think surprised me the most is that no matter how long I've been in the community at least once a year I'm going to question my identity within the community and have an absolute mental breakdown about it despite the fact that in one of my classes I tell people that it's just a label to help describe a bigger picture and it is not a one-size-fits-all situation I'm still going to question my label within the community at least once a year um and possibly change it there toilet paper over under over there was no hesitation no I will flip it over if it's under so what's an insult that you've received that you've decided that you're proud of like I decided to take ownership of that oh I got it put on a t-shirt um I got called a dopey woke tart wow that's uh I'd probably put that on a t-shirt too all right I was proud of that one I was like stop flirting to be fair kinkschool has merged that says degradation is my love language so you know it was it was such a good one I was very proud of that one starting tomorrow a condiment is going to come out of your belly button but you get a choose which one it is which one are you choosing hot sauce nice are we going brand name hot sauce here or just any type I don't I don't really know but it's going to be like it's going to have that sweet with like a crat ton of heat on the end you know when it touches your mouth the whole you're like oh this is a really nice sweet pepper boom boom boom and then you're like oh I regret my life um that sauce I don't know if it's a particular brand but katcha I find you since for that fair so you say you were putting together a kinky dinner who would you have joined you for that kinky dinner out of any part of history and what would you serve oh boy how many people do I get to invite is this like a full cow situation where I'm like putting on a whole dinner party or am I having one person over for dinner uh you can make it one person it I mean like you know up to five would be you know but nothing we're we're not talking like you know like 30 to 50 people this is more of like you know intimate small thing one to five people okay so this is where I get to be cute and say that I would bring I would want my leather child there all of her castro many people know them as Ollie um I would want I would want Devon there uh Devon stone uh Devon has been a wonderful friend of mine and um will always answer the call when I'm like freaking out about something um and we will sit there and say event producer had is on because we need to talk to each other about business things sometimes um leather chaplain for sure they are absolutely a comfort person for me um a lot of it is just like leather family um for me one person in the community that I have always wanted to meet and have never actually gotten to spoken to in person and like I've been in a zoom room with them but never late really got to speak to them um is midori um I would love to meet midori oh okay and going way back to 20 year old hope um the person who used to own subspace in Toronto subspace craigr uh mostly just because I owe a lot of my journey to that person and I think the biggest the best way to thank someone who's done something like that is with a really good meal uh and I would serve my homemade mac and cheese uh I make it in cast iron skillets and I bake it and I do the whole breadcrumb topping and um sometimes I have like pulled pork that I've gotten there too so it's like a pulled pork mac and cheese and I probably got a bunch of desserts because I am a dessert person um I love to cook so I'm really gonna ask how hungry people are and who has allergies into what and I'm just gonna bust out every great recipe that I've got depending on the allergies uh you sound like uh somebody else that I know in the leather community that anytime that they have people they're like my love language is cooking and so they they uh will post on different social media the the things that they have cooked and made uh for the community including like small events and stuff like that because that's part of their love language so that's amazing I love people like you yes there's there's there's usually like a food share channel and any discord server that I am part of because I just constantly am like look at this food that I made like a proper millennial um so you now get WWE professional wrestling style entrance music every time you walk into a dungeon as the pyro goes off what is your song? crap I had an answer to this um okay I don't think it can be that anymore oh no so if we can put the artist aside for a second because I know that there's been things with the artist uh it used to be high hopes by panic at the disco um and that's mostly just because in Canada um I don't know how much of the it is in the states um but you know how there's like a big cigar community in the states um yeah and that's like a whole thing the cigar and whiskey show the shells that happen um there are marijuana socials that happen in Canada and I used to smoke a lot a lot a lot a lot of weed um and my name is hope so high hopes works uh really well um and yes that's definitely one of my one of my go-to favorites jokes that happen um there's also s-l-u-t by bay miller which really makes me happy um which the t- I wish you'd titled it what it is um so the joke is sweet little unforgettable thing and it stands for s-l-u-t and yeah and I really like that too because it's kind of cute seeing a little bratty and that's that's I like all things cute see him bratty nice fair final two questions all right what's your favorite swear word jesus fuck that's so specific I like it all right so final question and this is my favorite question to ask our guests if you had to which muppet would you have sex with miss piggy why i'm a bottom she is not she knows what she wants she knows how to use her mouth and she is not afraid to say what she wants she's gonna communicate and loudly and give you all the feedback in the world about it that is scary accurate mm-hmm i feel like you put a maybe a little bit too much thought into that the the scary part is that's the first time that's ever been asked to me and i was just like boom wrap it fire i knew right there if we're good yeah that that's gonna go down in things that i've said out of pocket though i was gonna end up on a tick-dock for sure so to wrap up let's go through the vital information for kinkschool one more time www.kinkschool.ca get your tickets they are $40 Canadian or 29 and change 29 and change so approximately $30 US get them sooner rather than later uh because you want to get registered because if you register at last minute our door dragons might be busy dates are thursday november 21st all the way through to sunday november 24th um we do usually open a discord uh chat on the Tuesday afterwards just in case people want to continue the party and socialize a little bit because con drop can be the worst so we like to ease our way back into the real world and get 10% off your purchase of tickets using at coupon code synagogue 10 okay uh well thank you for coming on the show hope thank you so much for having me great guest far listeners upcoming synagogue in person in virtual classes including the ones for kinkschool bratty daddy's electro play chain fisting all on our website for more information on those classes checking out there but that's it that's our show say goodnight little bit goodnight little bit all right