Ep21 - "Sadistickle" With Nyxie Noc

Ep21 - "Sadistickle" With Nyxie Noc
Learn how to make tickling sensual, sadistic, humiliating, and most of all FUN. Dive into the fascinating world of tickling as a form of edge play. We’ll explore the origins of tickling and how it can be wielded as torture, punishment, and humiliation - or transformed into a sensual, sexual, and erotic experience. If you’re curious about incorporating tickling into your play or simply intrigued by its psychological and physical effects, this offers a playful yet in-depth introduction to the tickle fetish.

Nyxie Noc (They/Them) is a seasoned kink educator, Domme, and consent advocate with over two decades of experience in BDSM, sex work, and fetish content creation. Based in the SF Bay Area, Nyxie teaches a variety of classes, including Agency in Consensual Kink, and Ethical Dominance. Their workshops emphasize consent, agency, and ethical power exchange, helping participants explore kink with intention and safety. Known for their compassionate, shame-free approach, Nyxie is committed to fostering  empowering spaces for all kinksters to learn and grow. 

• viridiluxconsulting.com/nyxienoc
• Instagram.com/Viridi_lux_consulting
• TikTok.com/@Viridiluxconsult

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SINagogue hosts and guests are subject matter experts but not *the* expert. We believe outside of violating consent, there's no wrong way to kink except to think your way is the only way. The show is presented from a RACK (Risk-Aware Consentual Kink) point of view, not SSC (Safe Sane Consentual) because each person’s definition of safe is different based on their risk profile. Use of the word "safe" on the show fits our definition, and that doesn't have to be your definition. 

Reminder, we try to make our content as inclusive as possible regardless of gender, orientation, role in the lifestyle, etc., but we do inherently speak from our own point of view. We want to learn from our mistakes. If you feel like we said something offensive, let us know. Reach out via our website or call us at 469-269-0403.

Today’s show was brought to you in part by the letters S and M, and the Number 69. 

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Chapters

• 1:35 Introductions
• 11:38 Safety Concerns
• 23:14 DIY
• 35:01 All the cool kids pee their pants
• 44:50 Negotiation
• 1:00:00 Final Thoughts
• 1:01:06 Inside The Kinkster's Studio

Transcript

1:14

posting with me today is my partner, my ADHD squirrel wrangler, my submissive, my brat, my little, my pony, or just my little pony. Aww. The Fallout Boy to my radioactive man. A little bit. This is episode number 21, and with us today is Nixie Knock to talk to us about Satisfickle Satisfitts. Satisfitts is tickle. No, still not. No, Satisfitts. No. Satisfitts tickle. Satisfitts tickle. There you go. Okay. Yay! You could do it. Yay! Satisfitts tickle. I already changed it. Satisfitts tickle. Satisfitts tickle. Talk to us about Satisfitts tickle. I... Oh my god. If we were never going to get past that part, what happened? Satisfitts tickling. There you go. At least go with that. Yes. So learn how to make tickling a true edge for many sensual, sadistic, humiliating, and most of all fun. Dive into the fascinating world of tickling as a form of edge play. We'll explore the origins of tickling and how it can be wielded as a tool for torture, punishment, and humiliation. Or transformed into a sensual, sexual, and erotic experience. So you're curious about incorporating tickling into your play or simply intrigued by its psychological and physical effects. This discussion offers a playful yet end-epth introduction to the tickle fetish. But first, a word from our sponsor. Nixie Knock, Vavevam, is a seasoned kink educator, Dom and consent advocate with over two decades of experience in BDSM, sex work, and fetish content creation. Based in the San Francisco Bay area, Nixie teaches various classes locally and over zoom, including Satisfitts tickle, agency and consensual kink, and ethical dominance. Their workshops emphasize consent, agency, and the art of ethical power exchange helping participants explore kink with intention and safety. One for their compassionate, shame-free approach, Nixie is committed to fostering inclusive and powering spaces for all kinksters to learn and grow. Thank you for being here in the synagogue. Let's talk about sadistic tickling. Welcome. Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be here. Let's start with what is sadistic tickling? It spawns from an experience that so many people have had in childhood of being powerless, and overpowered, and overwhelmed by tickling sensations. And that's where a lot of our kink's kind of come from is when we're really young and we're imprinting and we get that phobia philia with a new experience, and tickling can be that experience for a lot of people. And I talk to people all the time who were like, "I'd rather be punched in the face than be tickled." And I believe it because for a lot of people it was like, "It was torture." sadistic tickle is an opportunity to explore that, to make new, better memories, and to push your limits and experience something new. Phobia philia is not a word I've heard before, but I think I'm going to start using it on a regular basis. I like it a lot. Yeah, I kind of put a slash in the middle of phobia philia, because I notice that a lot when people talk about things that they are afraid of, they're also sort of fascinated by. And it's a very push pull response of like, "I hate this, but I can't stop talking about it." Gotcha. Normally, when I think of edge play, I think of things that are dangerous. What makes sadistic tickling edge play to you? So one of the things that's often considered edge play is breath play, right? Okay. Yeah. So in a lot of ways, tickling can be breath play. We are sometimes tickling to a point of breathlessness, and you can incorporate breath play into your tickling scene with gags and hoods and things like that as well. So that definitely qualifies it as a bit of an edge, but for me, I guess the reason that I think of it as edge play is just because there are so many people who are like absolutely not. Never. No. I would let you electrocute me. I would let you piss on me. I would let you do this on that and the other. But if you tickle me, I will freak the fuck out. So it's not like it's interesting because most people laugh when they're tickled, so you wouldn't consider that you wouldn't consider that like a dangerous or scary experience. But for people who really have a reaction to being tickled, it can be a very dangerous and scary experience. And there's, I don't know why I would go as far as to say that is your degree of CNC involved in it? Okay. I see that. It could tow that line, depending on who you're tickling. That's very fair. I mean, I have heard and I have said laughter is a form of breath ray. I just never took it to that next logical step of that being edge play. Yeah, there's a reason that I always use a visual say-forward when I do tickle scenes. That's because most people can't even say-forward when they're laughing so hard. So we have to have a little ball that they can drop if they need to stop the scene. But I always use a visual say-forward in almost every scene anyways because I just, I like extra precaution. That's very sensible. So, sensual, sadistic, and humiliating. How can tickling be humiliating? I wish my demo tickle bottom was here to answer that question, very eloquent. And they could tell you about how I edged them to nearly pee their pants several times during a demo in front of a whole crowd of people. Getting somebody to pee their pants during a tickling scene definitely qualifies to me as humiliating, especially if you're not into peeing your pants. You might also have somebody pass gas during a tickle scene which for a lot of people is pretty mortifying to have an intimate encounter that involves accidental farts. You can definitely make it as humiliating as your imagination allows and as your partner and you have negotiated by making fun of somebody while you're tickling them, calling the names, I like to sit on people's chest and tickle them by tapping on their sternum and I'll usually also grab their hands and hit them in the face and say don't hit yourself, what are you doing? And I find that that's pretty humiliating. But yeah, it's like use your, you can really use your imagination when you're doing a tickling scene to see how you could make it not just physically awful but like there's a, there's a bit of emotional sadism that you can throw in there too. And the way that I tickle is really obviously sadistic because I'm a sadistic tickler that I will tickle and I will do what's what's called spitty slurpee. If you remember this on, you know, the playground when you're a kid, you dangling a big glob of a loogie over somebody and then wait till they almost hit their face and slurp it back up and just like incorporating that into the tickling experience with like wedges and new gues and wet willies, all that stuff like we can make it right back to that experience of being, you know, held down by some, somebody's older sister or babysitter or something like that and just making it, making it really, God awful. I'm like, oh, I just had a visual of the spitty slurpee and my brain jumped back way too many years and the initial gut response for me of, ew, yeah, not shaming anybody's kink or anything like that. It's just my initial for me type thing and I can get where people start to do that bit of cringe of, oh my gosh, am I going to get it or not? That is the not fun version for me of Hocktwa. Yeah, it really is. That's not the one you want. No, not at all. We talked about tickling being breath play so there obviously is some safety concerns there other than the breath thing. What kind of safety things are you looking out for? Well, when we talk about breath play, we talk about the risks that are involved like obstructing the airway. We talk about losing consciousness. We talk about damage to the throat and the trachea. Because what I'm doing, what I'm tickling, doesn't involve actually touching the neck at all. It's significantly safer than construction, blood choking and auto-erotic expixiation because you're not actually touching those parts of the body in that way. If you're tickling somebody who has asthma, you want to be careful, you want to have inhaler ready, you want to have that visual safe word so that you stop and you want to be in tune with, I mean, as a top, you always want to be in tune with your bottom to make sure that everything is okay. I always advocate in my classes that if you are a DOM or a top, you should be CPR for stayed AED certified and carrying our can. So those are my safety steps and I of course, you know, use the visual safe word that I spoke about earlier. Gotcha. So with risk of passing out, I am assuming as a safety precaution, probably aren't doing the standing riff you are there to restrain somehow. The bottom is. Yeah, like I might restrain somebody's arms so if they do slump that they're not going to drop to the floor, I mostly do my tickle scenes on like a wrestling mat or a soft surface because I do like to incorporate in my scenes a little bit of wrestling. And of course, you know, if you're going to tie anybody up, you've got to have at least two pairs of safety scissors and I know that they're sharp so that you can get people down immediately if you need to. Yeah, when I think about safety for any scene that I'm doing, I have to think about all of those elements. I actually have had a demo bottom pass out during an impact demo before and I was really glad that I had my CPR for stayed certified because I knew as soon as he fell to the ground and opened his eyes right away that he was going to be all right and that we didn't need to call an ambulance and that the EMTs that were at the event were more than enough help to get everybody back on their feet again. So just knowing that you have your CPR for stayed is like a huge difference in like how confident you are that your scene is safe. Not that you should ever be overconfident but man, it was really great to just know. Okay, yeah, I can handle this. Very fair. When they are on a wrestling mat, do you prefer people being restrained or not restrained? I'm a small person. I'm a little tiny, tiny dumb. So I do like to use cuffs or some light rope bondage. Of, I mean, if you're experienced with rope, like go to town, but I just use some light cuffs and I usually will put them above someone's head because I'll flip them back and front and I want them, like I don't want their hands behind their back while I'm sitting on their chest. Sure. Yeah, but I do like it that they can't block my hands from where they want to go and I also just use my whole entire body to hold them down and restrain them and I have some like cap wearer techniques and things like that where I use leverage. I don't need to be particularly big or strong to make it so it's very difficult for someone to move, but that's, you know, my style if somebody else preferred to use more restraints or even have other people in the scene holding them down physically. So it's not just a one on one scene. It also adds to the humiliation aspect of being witnessed like it's all open for interpretation in that way and that's what I love about it. We can make it a tickle party. So I do have to imagine though that restraints help in a safety manner that you aren't going to get a stray fist to the face. You might, you might. And you got to be ready for that. It's part of the risk wear. Mm-hmm. Yep. Definitely. People are going to flail and you got to be prepared. So you take care of yourself too as a top. So fall under the tickle at your own risk aspect. It really is and if you're going to tickle somebody till they pee their pants and you're sitting on them, you should probably have a change of clothes too. I had not considered that. I'm like unless you're into water sports and then it's bonus. Yep.[laughs] When you are doing a tickling scene, are you using your fingers? Are you using feathers? Are you using something else? What is your preferred method? Oh, well, it's funny because it's a really good question that you ask that because people have varying degrees of ticklishness and you got to really figure out what your bottoms like threshold for what is ticklish is and there are people who, and here's a funny thing that happens is that once you start tickling people, they become sort of like hyper-aroused from head to toe and things, parts of their body that maybe were not typically ticklish can sometimes become ticklish. So I've done scenes where they're like, you know, tickle my armpits, my feet, my groin, my ribs, but after 45 minutes of tickling, I can tickle their elbow. Oh my goodness. And they'll be like, what the fuck? Why does that tickle so much? What is happening to me? Why is that ticklish? I don't understand. So the more, and you know, it can kind of go both ways. Sometimes you can get tickled out where you're like, yeah, I'm not ticklish anymore. I don't know what happened. My brain kind of short circuited and none of this is ticklish anymore. I don't know what's going on. Or there can be that like, oh, I'm usually just tickled in like the big three ribs armpits feet and then all of a sudden your whole body is your very present in your body and you're so aware of your body that everything is ticklish. So that also is going to dictate what tools I want to use. So I do have little feather wands that I use. And if I use a feather wand on you, it's now your feather wand because I can't sanitize that. So I make about 40 of them at a time and I bring them to parties and classes and experiences. And if I tickle you, that's yours now. Another safety tip is like, if you put a feather on somebody's genitals, it's theirs now. But also, I do have nails. I do have claws. And depending on how hard I'm going to tickle somebody, we'll determine how sharp and how long my claws are. So if I know somebody is really like susceptible to light and delicate textured tickles where I'm just grazing my nails over their body, I'll keep them long and sharp. If I know that they really need me to dig my fingers into their ribs really hard, I'm going to cut them down and file them blunt. You could also use the metal claw tips that you can buy at many kink retailers where you just kind of slip a little ring over your finger and it has a little claw tip. You could use a Whartonburg Wheel to tickle. I don't say why not. And just other textures like a furry flogger can be ticklish, a stylus, just a plain stylus with a fine point can be ticklish. Again, I would invite people to use their imagination, a feathered usher, explore. Find out what's ticklish. What's the strangest thing you've ever used to tickle somebody? I don't know that it's a thing so much as a way that I tickle one particular partner where we have this game where when this partner is particularly bratty, I will make my hand into the shape of like when you're going to fish somebody and you put all of your thumb to all four of your fingers and I make my arm like a snake and I'm like, "Oh, the snake is going to get you." And I'll hiss and then strike like a cobra with my hand into their ribs and it's actually really painful and very, very pokey and not nice at all. And so we play the snake game and that's probably I think the weirdest thing that I have done just because I have done it in public and mixed company and vanilla circles just kind of like, "Oh, you said something, you were being a smart ass, you told a bad pun, the snake is coming for you." And then I realize like, "Oh, as I'm doing this in front of like vanilla people, like, this is a little weird." This is a weird thing to do. But you know, when it comes to objects I've tickled people with, I can't think, like I've never tickled somebody with like a rubber chicken or something like that. I think it's mostly just like, I really like to use my hands in all of my kink and it's one of the reasons that tickling is kind of my thing is because I really do get to dig in and use my hands primarily. They're my main tool in a tickle scene and I have left bruises and welts in tickle scenes with my bare hands and I love those marks. They're gorgeous. Wow. Fascinating. I can't help but picture Santina Morello when you were talking about that snake thing, the professional wrestler who did the cobra. I'm sure it's not as similar to that as I'm picturing it in my head, but yeah, neurodivergence, that's where I'm going with it. Yeah, I'm not a wrestling watcher so I can't imagine it but it might not be all that different actually. It's probably pretty similar. Snake! Okay. You said you make your own feather ticklers. I mean is it as simple as it seems you tape a feather to a stick? I use lock tight. Okay. I get some dowels and some beads and some feathers and maybe a little bit of satin ribbon if I'm feeling fancy at whatever craft store, not hobby lobby. And I just assembly line make 40 or so at a time until I run out of supplies and sometimes they break but they're only like really single used toys. So it's okay. Is there a type of feather that works best or you prefer using fancy peacock or ostrich feathers or just whatever they have there? Whatever they have at the at the craft store is whatever they have at the craft store, but I will say that I like to have more than one texture of feather for more than one type of sensation. So if you buy a bag of feathers that are colorful at the craft store you'll find it. Some of them are long and kind of come to a point. And I like those because I like that pointed and very exact and I can almost like draw pictures on people's bodies with the point of that feather. But then there you also get the poofy fluffy, downy feathers and those are different sensations. So I will make one tickle wand with pointy slender feathers and I'll make another one with poofy fluffy feathers and I might dual wield and use both at the same time and really overwhelm the body and introduce so many sensations at once that the body is just like completely overloaded. How did you get into tickle? How? You know, when people ask me in general, how did I get into kink, how did I get into sex work, how did I get into dom work? I have two different answers. The first one is I started doing phone sex in 1998 and when the other woman would get calls that they were weirded out by they would hand them off to me. They'd go this guy wants me to tell him to put a hairbrush in his butt and I'm like, give me that. Let me talk to him and I was really good at those calls because I was like, I was just so fascinated like, why do you want to put a hairbrush in your butt? So that's my pat answer for most of that. When it comes to like, where did the sadistic bullying, tickling, spitty slurpee, wedges, type of stuff come from, which is really like where I sit very comfortably in my dominance and my topness, like to be clear, I don't need to do that with every submissive that I have or every bottom that I play with. But it really does make me hit my stride when I get to do stuff like this with people. It comes from definitely being 13, 14, 15 years old and just beating the crap out of my brother's friends. Like I don't know exactly how it would start but we'd all be hanging out and somebody would say something like, I bet you can't beat up a girl and that kid would go home feeling very sorry. So that's kind of like where I came into power and felt like, oh this is, this is, and it wasn't sexual at all at that time to be very clear, not a sexual act at all, not something that was like sexualized in any way. But as I'm an adult now and I can look back on my entire, you know, villain origin arc story, I can say, oh I've always been like this. I'm just doing it consensually now with other adults who are also like this. Gotcha. How long does a tickling seem last? I mean I sure it has to vary from person to person but is it like people typically tap out after five minutes or do some of these go on for hours? Both. So I find that if you are wanting to go from zero to 100 when it comes to entering subspace and getting that deep body high that comes with an intense scene, tickling is like the fastest way to get there. Because you don't necessarily need a warm up like you might with impact, you can just get straight into the tickling and within minutes you could be out of breath and high and floaty and feeling just amazingly subjugated, humiliated, owned and destroyed. And it's like wow that happened so fast or it can be drawn out and incorporated into other forms of play and part of if not the focus of any almost any other type of scene that you might do so it can be part of your impact scene, it can be part of your sensory deprivation scene, it can be part of an age regression scene, it can be part of a bondage or restraint or rope scene just as a like an aporteef or something to add to it or it can be the focus of the scene and I have done 45 minute long just tickling scenes and I have also done five and ten minute ones that were just as rewarding and overwhelming and pushed all the right buttons. So again it's like where do you want to go today? It doesn't matter as to like how sensitive a person is in regards to tickling, does that like influence how long the scene would be or could you potentially take somebody who's extremely sensitive and pull them out for a 45 minute scene? I mean when we're doing like an impact scene we would talk about pacing right? Yeah. So you would depending on your bottoms, pain tolerance or even not even just how much they can withstand but how much they want to be in and or leave their body that you would you know part of the negotiation would be like how deep do you want to be dropped down and do you do you want to keep going until you read? Do you want to keep going until you get to yellow? Do you want to try for a certain amount of time and see how long you can endure? Do you want to do it nice and slow? Do you want to do it hard and fast? Like this is all part of your of your negotiation that I hope people are doing. I really hope people are doing these negotiations like I teach them and I preach them so I'm just like you guys are doing your negotiations right? So you can really get into that curiosity of like tell me how you want this to go for you and how much how much control over the time and the space that this takes on your body are you willing to give to me as your top? So yeah if somebody is super hypersensitive you would and they wanted an extended scene you would just have to go in really light take lots of breaks back off offer different kinds of sensations to kind of like retreat and then return and really draw it out and again like when I say edge play I mean it in two different ways like it's an edge like it's an edge but it's also like edging. Gotcha. Can you have you been able to give somebody an orgasm just from tickling? I had a tickle scene about a week and a half ago where I feel like if I had continued for even just and this is only a 10 minute scene if I had continued for maybe another 10 minutes and I had incorporated more genital contact into that scene that I probably could have achieved that because I was doing zero genital contact and the gentleman was dripping and his whole body was just a light so I have not yet I'd love to try but it's not really have ever been my goal but I often get a lot of dripping and a lot of like okay let me out so we can have sex. No you can stay right there. Yep. So is there any strange things that you have learned from doing a lot of tickle scenes like through my body drumming I have learned that people who orgasm through body drumming they tend to have butt dimples disappear when they orgasm. I have no idea what that means but I have learned that that is absolutely a thing. Have you discovered any weird thing like that like people who are more ticklish in their feet or screamers or I don't know what I'm saying? Like don't roll your eyes at me. Yeah I did a tickle scene with it was a group tickle scene where one person was held down by me and two other people. And it wasn't a very long one it was like 20 minutes and this person after they were released and we did after care they were so stupid they couldn't have passed a field sobriety test. Well that was interesting because that's something I usually only see after somebody has done hard impact play or some really like deep rope experiences to see somebody that that effed up after tickling. I was like I didn't know I could do that that's pretty cool. Because usually the response is like that was terrible you're so mean how could you you're awful and I'm like yeah yeah you like it. But this was like floating 10 feet above the ground for the rest of the day just absolutely useless couldn't work their phone couldn't unlock their phone with their password like couldn't form sentences just high as a kite. That was wonderful. Really rewarding scene to do that way. Like do I see a trend? What I do notice is that if you're trying to get somebody to pee their pants don't tell them that you're trying to get them to pee their pants. Because soon as you're like I'm going to get you to pee your pants they can't do it anymore. They get pee shy like they'll be like you know throughout the scene stop stop stop I'm going to pee I'm going to pee and so you stop and you back off and you and you respect that yellow literally but I'm just but then when you're like give me that pee pee I'm going to make you pee your pants they're like I can't do it. I'm trying really hard but I can't I'm like I'm not going to stop till you pee your pants and they're like sorry can't it's not going to happen. Oh now you've just edged yourself. Yeah I did and it's kind of like it's similar to me when somebody's like come for me and you're like oh well now it's gone I'm sorry. I was going to but it just went right out the window which happens sometimes unfortunately that sucks but you know. In the introduction it says it will explore the origins of tickling. What are the origins of tickling? You know when I say origins of tickling I don't think I mean like when tickling was invented like historically. That's definitely how I took it I'm like what? Oh yeah that I mean more like what are origin story when it comes to like you know everybody has I think a tickle story when there were kids about how they got tickled and how that either shapes a strong aversion or a strong attraction to be tickled as an adult in a consensual way. You know I love to read the books I loved the last podcast you did because I really am fascinated with the neuroscience of kink and like where the kinks come from and the differences between like nature kinks and nurture kinks like the kinks that are kind of inborn and the kinks that we acquire. And I think that for people who are into tickling fetishes and tickling kinks it is definitely a nurture kink and I think it like I was talking about in the beginning of the episode really comes from some of us have a response to those early experiences of being powerless of being overwhelmed and of being kind of scared but also kind of interested and that phobia philia push pull feeling. So yeah when I say the the origins of tickling I'm talking about like for a person who's into it it's always worthwhile to hear their story as a side note I'm always wanting to hear somebody's story about their kinks anyways no matter what the kink or the fetishes I want to know. But when it comes to tickling is like tell me about the experience that made you realize that tickling was erotic or torturous or you know what is it that about tickling that pushes your buttons as a person and why are you into it like what do you want to get out of the feeling do you want it to be a situation where you get to be in control and you get to yellow and you get to red and you get to say for it and you get to be in charge of how it's done to you when it stops how intense it is and is that healing for you and is that get get you to a point where you can kind of reprogram your brain to experience something in a positive way that maybe it was a negative experience for you when you were small or when you were young. Or do you really like the fact that you don't have a say you don't get to choose you don't get to say no or stop. And for tickling scenes I'm really clear when I negotiate that no and stop are not safe words during a tickling scene. Sure. Because it's the first thing out of people's mouth usually when I start really tickling them in earnest is no and stop it comes out so easily it is not the kind of kink that you can do plain English with or plain language because it's it's almost immediately a people who wouldn't even plan to say no or stop are suddenly saying no and stop. So it's one of those where you really got to go with your say for it say for it and you got to do a lot of checking in. I hope that I rambled for a minute but I really hope that that answers your question of like talking about where that fascination comes from is going to really enhance your scene no matter what the kink or fetishes is but especially I feel like with tickling talking about where what you're trying to capture in the experience is what's going to make a break that tickling scene. Sure. So is it helpful for you to know like a person's memory of you know when they might have been first tickled or something or another like that for you to expand on it and capture some of that essence again to just kind of expand on it and create your scene with them if it's a first time person or like first time player that you know you're doing a scene with. Yeah absolutely and aside from when I'm house topping and I'm just doing a quick tasting whenever I'm negotiating any kind of scene with anybody I do want to hear that story no matter what kind of play we're doing I want to hear that story because I want to hear when this happened I felt this and I'd like to recapture that or when this happened I felt this and I had want to avoid that because for me kink is really meaningful and even if I'm playing with somebody that I am not in a romantic relationship with or even in a relationship with at all if it's just a planned scene I really want to make it an experience that is like beneficial in not just an entertaining way or a like we're having orgasms today sort of way but if I can make it an experience where it's like wow that really like set me right cleaned the cobwebs out of my brain for a good couple of days and really like almost like fight club you know in that movie where he talks about like when you start fighting the volume on the bullshit of life gets turned way down and I feel like good kink experiences also do that for us so yeah when you know those stories and when you know those memories and you know those associations going in and you're planning your scene and you're leading that scene you get to you get to use that knowledge and that information to really create a deeper meaning in what you're doing with that person and that's what gives it meaning to me that's what makes it beneficial to me as a top is that I get to to give that gift to somebody and have them be seen you know I would definitely say fight clubs are just BDSM it's rough body play between two switches absolutely and I have seen I have seen scenes at kink events where people just punch each other oh my gosh you know and then they'll they'll cry and then they'll hug and then they'll do aftercare and it's beautiful see that's ways like the awesome part with like you know events and play spaces and just some of the different you know really fun things that people do because then you're just amazed and everyone's won't go wow really wish I would have thought of something like that that looks great not for me but that looks great you know but yes so what other special considerations do you have to take into account when negotiating a scene tickling scene oh okay so there's definitely the visual safe word because people will maybe not be able to verbally say ford I like to make sure that everybody has a change of clothes just in case before you know especially if you're at like an event or a club that you can you can go home and clean clothes I I need to specify when I do a scene if there's going to be general contact or no general contact I am really inclusive of a spec you know and and gray spec folks in the kink scene and I really like to to highlight how kinks can be non-sexual even though you know they're defined in the dictionary as being a sexual thing I really I really need there to be a normalization of non-sexual kink and a welcoming of people who aren't necessarily there for sex or sexual activity to be welcome in those spaces too so I will specify if there's going to be general contact or sensual contact or if it's just going to be for funsies and people might still be naked but I need to specify like if if this is a sensual scene or if this is not a sensual scene I always have I have my 13 questions for negotiation which is on my Instagram that I recommend it's not an exhaustive list there's certainly always a lot more I always ask you know is there anything about your body I need to know do you have any like artificial joints do you have any dental work I need to avoid do you have any skin allergies like some people are allergic to the material that I wear in my nails so I can't tickle them or scratch them because they're allergic to that material so I might need to wear gloves and I ask things like how long do you usually see in of course what are your aftercare needs and if something goes wrong is there somebody else in this space that we're sharing that you would want me to hand off to you if you no longer feel safe with me because that happens sometimes too where you might be in the middle of a scene and suddenly you're like oh I don't feel safe anymore and then I need to know as the top who do I who do I hand you off to that you can feel safe with so I recommend you know that you have a set set of of negotiation questions that you always do that are meaningful to you and that include things like what are your medical needs if you if you pass out or if this happens what do you want me to do and if you if you know that you have trauma responses and you know what they look like you should definitely be sharing them with the people that you play with and you might say something like if I stop talking I'm not okay if I start talking in a baby voice I'm not okay and those are the kinds of things that like I I really want more people to normalize when we negotiate a lot of the times we're talking about techniques we're talking about tools we're talking about positions we're not talking about the either the deeper meaning of the scene or the emotional needs of the people that we're playing with yeah absolutely is after care difficult and I ask that because when I think of after care usually I am thinking of some sort of touch if we had just done a tickling scene and super sensitive and any physical touch comes off as tickling is that point is that a common challenge it it is because they usually like if you were doing it say an impact scene and then air after care might be some light sensual stroking or like some massage type touch and after you've just been tickled that might be just more tickling so absolutely that's such a great question because what I do is something that I call putting someone's ghost back in their body and I tell them okay we're going to put your ghost back in your body and then I will do some compression techniques that I learned when I was doing occupational therapy with neurodivergent students where I will do joint compression heavy brushing technique or I will just put my entire body weight on top of someone I might also like put the minute body sock or wrap them up in the yoga mat that we just did our scene on like a burrito and sit on them until they feel like they're back in their body yeah I mean I was thinking oh my god you can't use the soft wonderful blanket because that might tickle do you have a burlap sack that you bring instead yeah I use heavy heavy compressive touch after a lot of my tickle scenes to really put somebody back into a more equilibrium state of sensation kind of level things out a little bit that makes absolute sense I mean completely it just yeah I incorporate a lot of humor and laughter into basically all of my scenes I find that during like impact scenes or actually any sort of scenes the laughter helps to be able to push a boundary well beyond the normal limit push not break helps the scene to last longer helps them to endure more pain does that also apply to laughter from tickling oh again like it depends on the bottom sure yeah sometimes I think it does and I'm definitely a very unserious person when it comes to my kink like if we can't laugh during our scenes I'm not super interested in doing that scene together if I have to be on like a caricature of a dumb that you might see in pornography like some kind of archetype and I can't be myself I don't want to do that scene I don't want to play that game so if I can't be silly I'm not having fun and I definitely love to crack jokes and stuff when I'm doing impact and I do think that that laughter does help you to experience things in on a deeper lover and I also like not to say that like serious scenes aren't a deep experience but I really think that you really can lean into it and I also think it's easier I don't know like when you're getting into a like a pain centered scene whether that's impact or some other kind of pain play there's this little bridge you have to cross from this is dangerous and I am scared into oh this is exactly what I wanted and it's it's kind of a razor's edge and sometimes you can go to the wrong side of it and the scene doesn't go well and it's not because anybody did anything bad it's just because the headspace wasn't right and I think that laughter makes it easier to land on the right side of that bridge and and really lean into the experience and the pain because sometimes the tickling that I do does actually hurt quite a bit you know it's some of its gentle tickling and some of it's pretty rough and I'm really digging in with my knuckles and my fingers in between ribs and it's painful and I think the laughter really helps people too yeah to get get really into that sensation and lean into it I call this in a couple of classes I teach I call it the monster's ink theory of power exchange if you remember from the movie monster's ink they were literally collecting power through screams and at the end of the movie they realized they could get a lot more power from laughter and I for me absolutely that's what happens in the scenes where I create laughter and now I think tickling is going to be a new way for me to do that you've been warned here sorry I'm adding that to my hard limit list baby steps baby steps you can start with a little bit of feet caning and that incorporates a little bit of feet tickling while you're can I love feet caning but yeah I feel like a nice lotion massage that then turns into this very sexual penetrative like fingering between the toes with very well lotioned fingers and then tickling and then caning oh that's that's a great oh highly recommend shucks kiss um you know I don't know if you read the book uh hurts so good by Lee Coward the science and culture of pain on purpose um it's a wonderful book I love it quite a bit in my copy is full of little um post it tabs and just highlighted to death because it's so fascinating but they talk about how in that book the placebo effect of type 2 fun um and how telling yourself that it is good for you is what makes it good for you oh absolutely and that's really what we're doing right like how are we any different from like marathon runners or people who like to do mouli tie on the weekends um except for that you know ours is all clandestine and behind closed doors and not safe for work um but really like with with the tickling um you know if you tell yourself that it's good for you it will be good for you I mean uh absolutely soon after I discovered kink ice I am very much a sadist not at all a massacist I stubbed my toe and it hurt like a mother fucker but then I said to myself you know what some people would like this and the pain just went away it was the strangest thing and I was like you know pain really is all in our head the the chemical be the chemicals in your brain between pleasure and pain are basically the same it is the context much like with uh giving birth if you think it's gonna hurt it's gonna hurt if you think it's not it doesn't well even when you take your kids to get their immunizations you tell them it's not gonna hurt that's when they're like oh shit it could hurt and then they're like oh no but if you're just like yeah it's just a you know well we'll be done in a minute and you don't mention that word and they don't think on it and fixate on it right it doesn't um and they get over it real quick uh I remember I was having a surgery and I have a septum ring and it's permanent and they told me you have to take that out you're gonna get electrocuted and your face will fall off or whatever and I said I can't take it off but you're welcome to try and so the nurse she attached like two pairs of hemostats to my septum ring is she tried prying them apart and her hand slipped and she punched me square in the face oh and she was mortified she was frozen on the spot just mortified and I laughed my ass off and I am non-masochist I'm not a masochist but the look on her face was so funny that I laughed and like it didn't hurt I wasn't in pain um she really did punch me I it twanged it rang my bell but I laughed and it didn't hurt so yeah like the body is a miracle and the mind is is nothing short of just like astounding and how they work together is I'll never be done discovering how awesome that is it's good sir very nice how would you recommend somebody getting into tickling I'm gonna convince her to do this someday I know it's a hard limit now how would you recommend somebody dipping their toes into the tickling world I'm gonna say for most people who are just dabbling to probably start with a sensual tickle um to make it a positive experience and to really like communicate really a lot through it um I really like the addition of like a blind fold so that you can focus on the sensation and not really worry about what your face looks like because sometimes we make some goofy faces when we get tickled and I find that when we can't see the other person's reaction to our face we become left self-conscious about what we're doing so a blindfold is nice um being warm is pretty essential so a warm room on a warm surface you know make it soft make it make it beautiful and then go slow like you do um and just really like I always try to say with every scene that I do leave something for next time leave people wanting more leave something for next time you don't have to check all the boxes you don't have to cross off the whole bucket list like we're we're not operating with a scarcity mindset let's go in with abundance and just know that if we like this we can do it again and if we don't like it we don't have to so yeah go I would say go slow and sensual the first time unless you have somebody who's just an absolute masochist and is like do your worst and you're like and you trust them and you know them well enough to be like okay we've done some some serious stuff before so I trust this bottom to really you know be secure in their own evaluation of them self to let me do this yeah if you're just dabbling I would start with it sweet sweet and sensual okay do you ever get willing play partners who are just there to I'm not ticklish and you're not going to be able to tickle me type people is that a thing? I'm that person okay I'm not ticklish at all so sometimes you know if I'm like doing a wrestling scene or something with somebody they'll try to tickle me and I'm like nah sorry it's not gonna work don't know what you're trying to do there but it's not it's not happening so but I don't actually know many other people who are completely not ticklish and then of course there's the whole dom slash top effect where just by the suggestion that like I am going to do this to you it then becomes oh my god like I'm ticklish now it's a phenomenon of just like if you trust your top enough to just be like yeah okay I'm ready for that like let's see if I'm ticklish even if you think maybe you're not very cool I think it's pretty cool well before we move on to the part of the show where we like to get to know you a little better in our own fun unique way is there anything else you would like to share with us about sadistic tickling? I really want to just emphasize that the limits of what you can do in a tickling scene are only really first of all your own personal limits and your partner's limits and the limits of your imagination like I encourage creativity I encourage curiosity and exploration you get to decide if this is going to be painful if it's going to be torture if it's going to be sexual if it's going to be something that leads to an orgasm if it's going to be humiliating if it's going to be terrifying if you like that kind of thing like you get to decide how the experience is going to go with your partners and so like make the best of that and just really there's no there's no rules really when it comes to tickling except for the obvious ones of like you know respect each other's consent and agency and the boundaries that are set but there's no rules about how tickling needs to be you get to define that for yourself. Gotcha well now we move on to the part of the show that we like to call inside the Kingster studio where we ask you some questions to get to know you better some a little bit more irreverent than others are you gain? I'm not a game told you I'm a silly person okay first question what is the first thing you wash in the shower my hair because well I wash the hair first and then I put on the conditioner and then I leave the conditioner on while I wash and shave all the other bits so the conditioner can stay on long enough so that way it has the most time to sit on my hair but you got to wash it first that that sounds like an answer from most folks who do that which is not somebody like Rabbi no because when the conditioner is sitting in my hair which I have again now that's when I'm brushing my teeth because I don't have all those parts to shave oh you brush your teeth in the shower yeah because if I don't yeah I don't either like it's a very ADHD thing because I'm doing both at the same time it's efficient and I do it when I shaved when I had about a year ago I stop brushing my teeth entirely for like a week because I just forgot but it was a challenge for me because I had tied those things so much together in my head well I'm sorry that I'm such a basic bitch when it comes to my shower response oh no you're fine because that would be that would be my basic bitch shower response too I was first thing washed your hair nope nope I'm with you technically you're not supposed to wash your hair every day it's bad for it and I don't but there you go I ask the next question so we can get off the shower no no this is like you know great because you've just like put your foot in it what's something that people would be surprised to know about you I live really out loud and I tell I'm very opinionated so I don't know if there's any really surprises but let me think about that okay it's not a surprise because I talk about it a lot but it's one of those things when I tell people they're like really why I am terrified of birds like super extra hyperphobic of birds especially large birds but pretty much all birds I'm okay with owls in in a concept sort of way and I kind of think penguins are okay but I never want to touch one or smell one but I really am scared shitless of birds I love snakes I like spiders I like rats I like all those other creepy crawlies those are great birds can fuck all the way off part of me is going wow the irony of that because birds can be the feathers yeah I know but you're kind of okay with owls which I find it weird because I'm not okay with owls because I just drives me nuts how they don't break eye contact when you cook them in the microwave oh my god oh that is awful no oh my god that is so bad no no my goodness I like who's gonna clean this up oh did you put a paper towel over it or nothing what is the worst fashion decision you've ever made snappy crotch body suits because inevitably they unsnap and usually at the worst possible time oh my gosh that is so accurate I've been at a funeral and hugged somebody who was sobbing in my arms and had my body suit unsnap and just been like oh and they're like are you okay and I'm like yeah fine and they're like everything all right yeah yeah I'm good it's okay continue crying but yeah body suits are a bad idea don't do it oh my goodness that when you need to pee it's always like where's the fucking snap why can't I get this open yeah because I mean they come apart real easy like you just stand there and they're like ping here let me come apart and then when you actually have to like you know pull them apart then they're like uh we've hidden we've gone away good luck we're gone now it's cool you could be your pants it's fine if you're right unfortunately I could not relate to this problem no mm-hmm I mean I'm sure I could find something you know to help you relate to the problem but you know is that gonna be a hard limit for you oh what's one of your biggest challenges um like in kink or just in general I mean being a fem um definitely comes with its own set of challenges whenever I teach a class I have to preface the class with I do not date students and I don't I don't do scenes with students if I do like a demo class where I'm you know spanking or punishing somebody for a for a demonstration I inevitably get people who are like can I be next can you hit me and I'm like nope that's there's too much inequity in that power dynamic where I'm an instructor and it can't look like I'm teaching classes to get ass um so I steer clear of that and but inevitably there are some people who get a little stalkery sometimes um when when they transfer some of their feelings of submission onto you and um you know I definitely don't like it when people try to call me mistress or um madam or domina that we are not in dynamic I that really creeps me out and freaks me out I don't like that so I always you know start my classes with this I'm nix I'm nixi you can call me nixi please um and I and please don't message me on fet life after this class and ask me out because it's not gonna happen I mean that's totally fair mm-hmm sorry to be a downer that's not a funny answer but yeah like no no that's alright I I yes see I'm usually the one that asks all of like you know the questions that are kind of like that because it provides like some all-rounder questions yeah I know because I'm just such a donor like that yeah a little bit okay yeah I'm joking so what do you think would be the worst to buy one get one free sale of all time caskets oh that was a very quick answer that's an amazing dark humor answer I love it didn't have to think about that answer for even a second this you never want to be in a position where you need to well yeah this is true this is very true toilet paper roll over or under oh you guys are gonna get mad um I don't even put mine on the spool fair I'm an on-sooler I just said it on the counter not bad at all in my bathroom the spool is in a weird place where you kind of have to lean until your ass is almost off the toilet to get to it I'm short little arms and I'm like no I'm just gonna keep it right here so no no over or under I mean that's efficient so I can't blame you at all how long do you think you would survive in a zombie apocalypse oh five minutes five minutes I'm not participating in any of that shit I'm like oh the world is ending great let me take the easy way out immediately anyone who wants to come with me I'll make sure you get to go first and I'll I'll go last as a courtesy but like if we're facing the end of the world the thing I look more most forward to is not doing that fair all right you get like themed entrance music and when you walk into a dungeon what's your theme song like pro wrestling entrance music you get pyro and everything I will choose a track called black fires by calvania and reaper it's drum and bass I'm obsessed with drum and bass I'm a drum and bass DJ in my spare time and I I live for dark crunchy heavy bass music and that's absolutely one of my favorites nice would you rather have living eyebrows that crawl freely around your face or every time you fart a 10 inch garden snake falls out of your ass and why oh I just I don't fart a lot so I think that like it wouldn't happen that often but the constant movement of the of the like I can't handle it when I have like a like a pimple that's bothering me or like if I have like one little chin hair that's growing in because I'm 45 so I get chin hairs now I don't like that shit at all let me just tell you if I can feel one like I might work and I feel it I'm preoccupied with that sensation until I can get home and pull the tweezers out and get that shit out of my face so if my eyebrows were running all over my face all day I would lose my entire shit oh gee I'm so glad I'm not the only one and like I like snakes snakes are cute oh yeah my favorite swear word oh geez that's that's hard to choose because like my favorite one is one I don't get to say a lot because most people really don't like it because the effort is great and so versatile but oh kind is gotta be my favorite one but I think you're the very first person to say that I really have to know who I'm hanging out with before I drop the seabum that's totally fair but yeah I think you're the actual first person I actually use that one congratulations yeah I think exception of a couple people I think we've only had one or two people that have had a couple other swear words but yeah awesome congratulations who is your first ever celebrity crush oh shit this is gonna date me so hard and also make me seem like well it also just points to how damn queer I am because of course my first celebrity crush is a femboy I and it's weirdly specific too because there's two of them but I only liked the one and that would be Matthew Nelson from the band Nelson the one of the twin sons of Ricky Nelson and I did not care for Gunner I only liked Matthew but they're twins I know yeah those of you there's subtle differences yeah one of them had paint yeah well they're satay but although if you'd ask me the same question now I would definitely pick Gunner over Matthew like no I get that because there was a couple guys in high school that were twins like that and you know one was always better looking than the other and they were identical so which one was the evil twin well see when I was you know 11 12 13 I really liked the soft like one with the bangs because he looked like he was a nice boyfriend but now I'm definitely going for the no bangs big dick energy twin I don't know Gunner had a swagger that I didn't fully appreciate back in the day but now I can very much appreciate fair enough so before we get to our final two questions I'm trying to get something now the reverse Uno card you get to ask us one question which footy pajama onesies do you wear at home and don't say that you don't have any I'm like I own a set of footy pajamas actually own two but let's see here because I bought at least one of those for you well yeah one you purchased when I already owned only because I couldn't find a unicorn one so I have a unicorn one Z but the one that I might not admit to that I probably want to bring back into it a adult size just because I loved it as a kid and would want it as an adult was probably my C3PO what wow it was just there's definitely a market for that they should definitely start making us again um it's just one of those things like yeah yep I mean besides my Wonder Woman stuff and all of that but yeah but if it's one of those like I wouldn't admit to it to somebody yeah that one that's great weirdo yep I have never owned footy pajamas I like to be barefoot way too much to have ever had any you don't have like a onesie without the feet not at present all you're missing out they're so awesome I have like four damn amazing I wouldn't mind them the holidays are coming up wing wing nudge nudge you know I'm gonna say that one of my favorite things to bring to a play party to wear between scenes when I don't want to put all my clothes back on is to just jump into a onesie until I'm ready to do my next scene it's like a as a blanket I can walk around to get water and snacks with and do my aftercaron it's it's highly recommend I have one that's a nudie bronch oh nice I would definitely want one of those ones with the butt flap so I could leave the one side hanging open and people could see my tattoo yeah yeah tattoo on my ass is an autograph from Xavier Roberts the inventor of the cabbage patch doll what the hell on your butt like a cabbage patch kid on is that exactly like a cabbage patch kid oh my goodness that's that's outstanding that's fantastic the tattoo artist was like well this is definitely not the weirdest weirdest tattoo I've done or the weirdest placement I've done she was all kinds of having a great time with it so yeah and she was young enough that we had to explain what the hell the cabbage patch doll was and then she took pictures but never shared among social media so she just showed her friends look at this weird guy came in got this random day's autograph on his butt that's exactly it all right final two questions no I already did one of mine oh I know you did it out of work now that's because you gave me the signal of like two left didn't you ask that one next oh my goodness I know how this works by now that's something I know they like that if you're willing to share what is the origin of your scene name oh yes I am so I'm a big nerd I will tell you that one of my one of my kiddos is named after a harp from a mythological story and the other one has another mythological name that's too easy to trace so I won't even give a hint all of my pets have mythology names so it seemed only fitting like you know I have I had cats named Persephone ermase a k-ron stuff like that nix is you know the the the Greek figure that represents night and knock is short for nocturnal a lot of people say nixie nox and it's not nixie nox it's nixie knock and nixie knock is sort of just a catch all performance name that I've used as a for less dancer that I've used as a DJ that I've used as a scene name it is really just me being the gothiest goth who ever goth to be the goddess of night and then also just night that's awesome thank you yeah nighty mcnighterson I want to say atm machine to that but I know what you mean so my final question my favorite question to ask people is if you had to which mup it would you have sex with and why oh jesus christ has got to be gone so without hesitation even though he's a chicken fucker which you know how I feel about birds this is gonna I love a I love a big nose I love a big nose I I love a really prominent ridge on a nose especially especially when somebody goes down on me because you can feel that nose pushing into your skin and it's hot and I definitely have a big nose fetish 100% give me your Adrian Brody's give me your ganzos like I'm all about it yet it's the nose for me and I'm sure he's a freak like he's got to be I mean there's a reason why there's a whole genre of porn named after him I didn't know about that but I do now next in your downtime probably not it's for somebody who does you know sex work and fetish work and like you know how to whole career doing bubble gum porn and balloon porn like I don't watch that much porn oh I I didn't say watching I just met like you know research to look it up and be like oh that's what it is how do you type in ganzo porn and not accidentally see ganzo porn though well how do you like google that's a risk and do not just get presented with it I mean how do you bet you can literally mash your hands into the keyboard and you're gonna see porn you didn't want to see well there's that too there you go so that's the only downside I don't want it in my search herd street I'm not gonna look at that I'm just gonna take your word for it that's fair completely all right well if somebody wants to contact you or follow you on social media what's the best way to do that on fat life I'm nixie knock and then it starts to get complicated you can find my website landing page at virady vi ri di lux lux consulting at dot com forward slash nixie knock and then you can find me on instagram virady underscore lux underscore consulting and then tiktok is virady lux consult and i just joined blue sky today i've made no post at all but i'm nixie knock on blue sky and i'll probably be jumping over there to do some non non twitter slash x type of web presence but yeah i highly recommend that people just go straight to the instagram because that's where my link tree is and it has all the events i'm about to teach or be at and all of the links to the other things that i mentioned so instagram virady underscore lux underscore consulting and i will throw as many links as i can to those in the show notes for you thank you so much well thank you very much for coming on the show yeah thank you i've been a great guest i have learned a lot about sadistic tickling i still can't say that word i did not learn how to do that sadisticle like popsicle i just i keep wanting to say sadist testicle i can't no no no for our listeners upcoming synagogue classes on brady daddies electro play and something else is coming up but you can find all the details to that both in person and virtual on our website as always also it'd be super cool if somebody you know called the show phone line because nobody's done that yet i think what's the phone number um the phone number is 469 269 0403 and that was a very deliberate picked number not the four in the three part with the rest so call and leave us some feedback maybe we'll put it on the show but yeah so that's it that's our show See, good night, little bit.- Good night, little bit.