Ep 26 - "Dollification: You're Never Too Old To Play With Dolls" With VintageKinkyDoll

Ep 26 - "Dollification: You're Never Too Old To Play With Dolls" With VintageKinkyDoll 
Dollification is the process of evolving, mentally, physically, and emotionally, into the form of a doll. The evolution can include an elaborate dressing ritual or adding a personal doll accessory.  But the physical piece goes so much deeper. How does one begin such a training regime?  Where do you start the mental training to switch into your doll? Are there different types of dolls? What does this form of play require?  

VintageKinkyDoll has been active in the lifestyle for 20-something years. She is a participating member in the scene of numerous locales and is very active in the Houston and Texas scenes. She has been Chairman of the Board for HPEP, and a member of HEAT, Eros, Italia Fetish, and SCK. She is best known for her presentations and demonstrations on dollification, degradation, objectification, and 50s Households, from a submissive point of view and learning. Her vanilla life is filled with family, and friends, being a business owner, and serving the community by serving on too many committees and boards.

• vkdartisanco.com
• Fetlife.com/VintageKinkyDoll
• Instagram.com/VintageKinkyDoll

Welcome to the SINagogue. they call me the Rabbi. I put the SIN in SINagoguge.and am a cisgender, ambimorous, gynesexual, sadistic bratty daddy-dom. Sex therapist by day and a kink educator by night, I help people make their kink a religious experience. I am a mental health professional, this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a replacement for therapy. Seek out the assistance of a trained professional for help with your situation.  

Reminder, we try to make our content as inclusive as possible regardless of gender, orientation, role in the lifestyle, etc., but we do inherently speak from our own point of view. We want to learn from our mistakes. If you feel like we said something offensive, let us know. Reach out via our website or call us at 469-269-0403.

Today’s show was brought to you in part by the letters S and M, and the Number 69. 

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introductions
• 6:38 Types of Dolls
• 13:04 Meet Your Marker
• 19:50 NSync
• 26:42 Don't You Move
• 34:42 Where To Start
• 39:12 It's A Trap
• 49:58 Safewords
• 54:52 We Have No Bananas Today
• 57:28 Final Thoughts

Transcript

1:14

Hosting with me today is my partner, my ADHD squirrel wrangler, my submissive, my brat, my little, my pony, or just my little pony. Aww. The Ken to my Barbie, a little bit. Aww. That's perfect. This is episode number 26 and with us today is vintage kinky doll. To talk to us about dollification. You're never too old to play with dolls. Hi, y'all. Oh no. Welcome. Dollification is the process of evolving mentally, physically and emotionally into the form of a doll. The evolution can include elaborate dressing rituals or a simple addition of a personal doll accessory to signify change. But the physical piece goes so much deeper. How does one begin such a training regimen? Where does one start? The mental training to switch into your doll. How do you find the ability to emotionally disconnect, to channel your inner doll? Are there different types of dolls? What's the difference between marrying a portion of a doll or a rubber doll? While all forms of dollification require a great deal of communication, they also require an immense amount of prep work, trust, and thought. How does one create the set up necessary for this type of scene? What does this form of play require? How do you get into that space? Pleasure, punishment, or both? But first, a word from our sponsor. Ben, ben, ben, ben, ben, is away! Vintage kinky doll has been active in lifestyle for 20-something years. She's a participating member in the scene of numerous locals and is very active in the Houston and Texas scenes. She has been chairman of the board of HPEP and a member of heat arrows, Natalia, fetish, and SCK. She is best known for her presentations and demonstrations on dollification, degradation, objectification, and 1950s households. From a submissive point of view in learning. Her vanilla life is filled with family and friends, being a business owner and serving the community by serving on a few too many vanilla committees and boards. Thank you for being here in the synagogue. Let's talk about dollification. You're never too old to play with dolls. Yay! Yay! Welcome! Welcome! And one quick note, I'm also the operations manager for Shrine and the education coordinator for Gwynn Bash 2025. Those are the new things for my 2025 resume. Nice! So if you too many has evolved into a few more too many? Yeah, yeah. I am a sucker that does not know how to not serve my community. It's there enough. So let's talk dollification. Let's start with the definition. Okay. So the dollification definition is pretty much anything you want to be. So it means that you have removed the humanity of yourself and become a doll, whether that be for pleasure or for a different persona. But it does remove the humanity of self to become an object to be played with. Okay. That's all the official shit. What's the unofficial shit? It is anything you want it to be. If you want to dress up and look pretty and have someone call you a doll or if you want to be an absolute rubber encased holes for free use, it can be all of the above. So like you said, rubber encased holes for free use. Is that similar to when somebody is kind of a drone, but just for use? Sort of. So when you take in the ideology of being a doll, being a rubber doll, you can still be a doll, you can still be mobile, you can still be the persona of a doll. You can even do dolls on strings. You can be a public doll. But rubber dolling is usually the most dehumanized version where you are just orcuses. They may rubber suits that have three orcous holes. And that way you can have free use safely. So you are literally just a rubber doll for dump. And so all of those orcuses are filled with a sleeve that can be turned out washed and then kept safe. So the only actual holes of humanity or nose holes, everything else is a closed system. Interesting. Yeah, he is. I'm like, we kind of jumped in real fast in the deep end. I know, yes. I mean, not that that's always an issue, but you know. So tell us more about the different types of dolls, Mary Annette and Porcelain, I think, you just covered rubber. Yes. So I personally have numerous doll personas. I do a Mary Annette doll, which is a very showy, yet dark sense of my doll. I usually doll in chain or barbed wire. One because I'm really not a ropey kind of person. But my maker likes rope because they are evil, sadistic people. All out to my maker, and drama, and chain. But I like chain one because when I'm coming back from doll headspace, I can hear the chain, the tingles and the chain. And if I can hear it, it reminds me that I'm human. So it gives me a sense of humanity. It does help come back, but mostly because it's, it's just hot. I like chain period. The barbed wire is also just a really great sense of what the fuck am I watching? And I love doing that in dungeons and classes and scenes. So that's always been real high on my priority list. The other thing that I like to do is shark line. I am pretty extra for anybody who knows me. They're probably laughing and shaking their heads, yes. But I am extra. I like shiny, I like dolls, I like being a doll, not actual dolls. I like glittery, I love bows. And so I use shark line that has swatsky crystals on it. So have you ever seen that perfume commercial with? Yeah. Jolly Roberts and she's got, she breaks her strings, but there's diamonds that go everywhere. I'm not bougie enough for diamonds, but I do like those swatsky crystals. And they really do well in some clubs to catch attention. You also, it's really hard to break 100 pound shark line. So and it hurts when you try. So I like that aspect. And shark line is just fishing line but for sharks. It is that you can get shark line that is either 100 pound or 500 pound test, which means it is 500 pounds of pressure per inch of line to break. Most of us are not that strong. And so it will dig into you before you can get it to snap. And so, out and yummy all at the same time. The other doll that I have, I have a rubber doll, which of course is fun and degrading. I have a bimbo doll. It's very body modification. It's very barbie bimbo-esque. Lots of pink. I can go out in public. I'm allowed to walk. I'm allowed to interact with my maker and my beastie. I am allowed to have certain keyword phrases. But the aesthetic is very specific. It's very hot pink or black. It's very slutty. It's very revealing publicly. There is no interactions where you are forcing your kink on others. It is very much just a physical visual aesthetic. And I also have a raggedy and doll, which is more of a gravity fed doll. So that is very impact heavy play. And also I have a joint based doll, which is, if you've ever taken a doll and you bend its arms and it has its hands up like you're doing a feel goal or touch down, the arms stay up. That is one of my favorites because that is something you can do in a dungeon that is very impact ready. It is also very gravity based. So if you get punched, you sort of move. And it's a very free flowing sense of self. How you move is how you are being moved. You don't actually move yourself. It's gravity that moves you. And so that one is always fun in a dungeon as well. It's really great at home too because you know, getting man handled around, you just sort of get thrown around and you're literally how you land. So those are my personal ones. There are numerous others. There's Lilidas. They have much less sexual connotation than they do visual aspects. Then there's Dark Lolita, which can have a sexual connotation or it can just mean they were the darker blacks, reds, maroons, purples. And it's not quite as coquettish. And you can have numerous compilations of other dolls that you can build where they have speaking buttons which can be a pressure point or it can be a sticker that you wear where your maker owner, dominant master, whatever your terminology, I use maker can press the quote unquote button and you're allowed to say certain things. So there's that. You've used the word maker a few times. Is that just a word for a dominant in dollification or do they actually make your doll identity? How much time do we have? So a little backstory, my master who has passed away used to be my maker. So he built my doll. He built me. I was built to fulfill every desire he could have. And while that sounds awesome as a toy or as a slave, yes. But as a doll, it's a little further because my maker makes my world and that is the world that I get to live in as a doll. So I use maker because that is what it worked well for me. A lot of people can use other terms. So my maker now, they and I do not have an intimacy relationship. We are literally just really awesome friends and maker doll. But my maker still gets to make my world. They I still wear purple for them. Hate purple, still wear it. Their purple contacts so that my entire world is purple to appease their very evil, sadistic setup of the world. My nails are purple. We just went to Minnesota and did a dollification class and I had stickers where my nails changed colors every single day so that matched the purple outfit I was wearing. So my maker makes my world. And that helps pull my doll out and leaves my humanity aside. I don't have to worry about what clothes I'm wearing. I don't have to worry about what I need to wear, what hair toys I need to bring, if I have a bow or whatever because that's my maker. My maker controls every aspect. And for me, dollification is all about being controlled. I make Stockholm look sexy. So being fully controlled and immersed in that is really appealing to me, really hot. So having my maker make my world is a very happy place for me. So that's why I use maker. Some people just used dominant or daddy or puppet master, whatever is more comfortable to you. Master of puppets. There you go. As he's over here throwing the rock on sign. Okay see, mention that your maker decides kind of the things so that way you can let go is that something that was hard for you to learn to let go of the things in order to allow them. No, no, I learned the first time I ever saw someone doll. I saw them and I said, I want that. And he told me, babe, I don't know if you can handle that. That's a really complex moving parts and you're very sweet and hyper and you're very animated. And you know, I just don't know that that's going to be appealing to you. And I looked at him and I'm like, I want to do that, please. And he had experience with some aspects of darling, more of the rubber, but we really got into and started speaking to other people and we made this ours. And so four years later I came back and did a relatively similar scene to what I had seen the original, except we did it with bar wire. So I found very early on that I like being controlled. I have my very involved vanilla life, very involved family and I'm getting my MBA and I own my own business and I take care of my grandmother and I have my BST and I have my friends and you know, all of the moving parts of that. So the aspects that can be controlled are freaking amazing to me simply because it's not just a sexual thing. It is a, I trust my BST and my maker so much I don't want to have to speak to someone. I don't want to have to have a voice. They order my food for me. They tell me what to eat. They tell me what to wear. There is a, it's not a control freaky thing. It's almost the exact opposite for me is I am fulfilled by fulfilling their desires. If they want me in a cutesy little dress with tons of bows and purple contacts, I'm signing up like there's nothing that could make me happier than appealing to that. It is to lay in bed like a Barbie doll and not move and not speak and not make a noise and just let them do what they want. My BST is an evil bastard and he loves that shit and I love that because it's a challenge. I like the challenge. Can I really be quiet? Can I not move for the orgasm? Can I, you know, just, can I be extra and both of us enjoy it? So yeah, I like that. Ignoring the power exchange, each part of it. Was there an in sync video about Mary Annette? I don't know in sync. I'm a little older than in sync so they're not my. Yes, they're tied by, by. Okay. But I mean... Yes. Let's get it on. Yeah, hell yeah, let's do it. But I do not... Yes, that's okay. Yes, there was a video where they used some Mary Annette, but it's not quite the same. Yeah. Okay. Hey, when did it come out? So it came out in the early 2000s, I believe, and the song is "Bye Bye Bye." I think I have heard the song because, of course, I think everybody's heard that song at that time. Yeah. But I don't think I've seen the video, so I'll have to look at it when we're done. Yeah, and I was going to say it's probably not anywhere close to the same as like the Mary Annette, that we do for kink with "Dullification" versus like what was on a public video. How? I mean... It could be. It could be. This is true. I mean... I don't know. People get away with a little bit. Right? Right? You know, and I will say I am personally offended that you said you were too old for this because you're younger than me. I can be, but we, my favorite band is CCR or something like that, and so I never got into the pop, and I'm also a very big country listener, so I alternate between modern rock, old rock, and then if I can't find anything or there's too many commercials, then I will switch over to country because I can only handle that for so long too. I'm like, "You sound like me with my radio." Yeah. I have a very eclectic playlist. Like, I can go from easy to... 9-gees-easy-e to Frank Sinatra to CCR to, you know, Kelly Clarkson. Like, I can go all the way. Yep. Yeah, that's me too, though, just add like, you know, some 9-inch nails in there or... Yes, I have this as well. Yep. Or music that I call, angry boy music. Okay. You know, like... Like, I've got Pearl Jam and Soundgarden. And then, you know, switch over to Elvis. Like, it just... Yep. My poor Spotify is just like, "What the hell are we doing?" This train has completely de-rained homes. Yeah. And actually, it has, because music is also one of the easiest frames of mind, and it is what I use. I use two different music. I use Swan Lake, and I use the Nutcracker Suite to get into my doll head space. So when I am going into doll space, a lot of people see me... I put index finger to thumb, middle finger to thumb, ring finger, pinky finger. And that is me playing the song in my head. And it is my alternate calm. It is how I get into my head space. So music can absolutely be doll specific for me. And those two songs, well, not songs, but the soundtrack for the Nutcracker and for Swan Lake, yep, the suites, thank you. Absolutely makes sense. Yes. I used to do ballet. I did ballet until I was in my 20s, and I played soccer for college and throughout my knees, and so then ballet went, "Oh, bye." Or "Bye, bye, bye, there you go." And so the calm was still the music, and being able to do my physical training and keep my head in the game was very much still with music. You talked about laying there and letting them just kind of do what they would please, and part of me is going, "Wow, for some people, they would be like, 'Oh yes, let's do this. That sounds super easy, but I'm going to guess that's just subtively difficult." That is probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and still remains to be so, because here's the thing, who doesn't want to get off? Who doesn't? If I move my hips half an inch, I can finally get the most perfect thrusts or inserts, or, you know, I can move to his mouth or to his toy or something. However, dolls don't move. They don't seek. You're there to provide entertainment, not get entertained. And so you think, "Oh, I'm just going to tilt my hips half an inch, they'll never know." But that can actually pull you and my maker out of headspace or my beastie, because dolls don't move. They don't seek. They only provide. And so it is free and hard. And, you know, when they're doing evil mean things, which, you know, hopefully I'm hoping they're not listening, because I tell them myself, it's really, you know, it's hot at one point, but then at the other point, you're just like, "I want to scream. I want to scream no, or yes, or for fuck's sake, let me move." Or, you know, symmetry bitches, like, "Symmetry's real. Please stop hitting that one, Ash-cheap." But you can't do that all the time. And so, yes, laying there as a doll or laying, sitting as a doll, just to be the entertainment is very hard, because you have to remember that one headspace is different, but two, so is the physicality. I have to remember we're not snuggling right now. I'm his doll. So I'm sitting. So I have to be moved or I have to be used. I provide the entertainment and pleasure. I don't see it. Interesting. Yeah. So you don't move, but is there a, like, a wind up toy type of doll? It is, actually. And that is the next one that I am approaching with my maker is to have a wind up piece on my back that we can actually make crank that will get into dancing. And especially for any of our classes, to have a wind up doll that can also be either a marionette or just a wind up doll on a hard point so that I can use the shark string and the crystals or use the chain or barbed wire. And have a wind up that plays a song that we can put on my back or in my costume so that it makes a really awesome class or show at one of our performances and have that be part of the doll. And we're talking about dollification. My mind immediately defaults to female. Is there type of dolls for non-female identifying people, him both occasion, action figures, something like that? There can be anyone can be a doll whether you're non-binary, whether you're trans, whether you present female or male and you can also do forced biification where you have a male who is a female doll. Or you have, "Himbows are real," "Kendalls are real." You can have any type of body as a doll and it also doesn't matter size. I don't care what anyone says, I think that if you limit your size then that's on you and you have a preference and go with God. But anyone can be a doll. Any person can lose their humanity and become a doll. And if they're told no, tell them to come find me. I want to meet a doll who has a kung fu grip. You know what? I mean, there's got to be someone out there with some strength in the hands and, you know, your appendages are your responsibility. So what helps you get into the doll head space, are there specific props, toys, costumes? I have a bow that is specifically made for me and it can be, I can make it for either my costume or for my classes. I have a bow that I made that is specifically just my makers. No one else has ever touched it, including my beastie. Only my maker touches that bow. And as soon as we have decided that we are calm and set, my maker puts that bow in my hair. And I usually wear a high ponytail because it works either that or a pig tails because it does the aesthetic for classes. Or my beastie and I, we do a lot of pig tails, but for my maker, we do ponytails. And so when my maker puts my bow in my hair, that is a signal that I am safe and under their control. And that is the finishing touch on making my world. Okay. I am still mentally going back to the ballerina thing and picturing that with barbed wire and I am not familiar with Swan Lake more than the pop culture reference, but I have seen Black Swan. So of course I am picturing Natalie Hortman there. That sounds kind of hot, especially with a little bit of blood from the barbed wire. Yes. I have actually, when I do it around my neck, I will use hot glue on the tips just to make sure that I don't die because that is my hard limit. That's kind of important. Yeah. Yeah. Death is a hard limit. Amazing, amazing, amazing friends. And his slave gave me a picture that is a ballerina doll in ballet shoes. And full marionette except the marionette strings are hooked into her. Oh wow. And if you look on my fat page you can see my pumpkin carving. It was a contest that we did down here for our subgroup and that I took that as inspiration for my pumpkin. And so that will happen. I personally would like to lose a few pounds before I do a full hook ballerina scene simply for my own safety. That's her. Yeah. But still that sounds like really, really cool. It's hot. Rabbi is over here shaking his head now because he is not a real big fan of talking about hooks. Hooks are the only thing that makes me squeamish and they make me very serious. Okay. We'll stick with barbed wire. Barbed wire. For anything around my neck, anything on my wrists simply because while they have very muscular arms my wrists are relatively small. And so when you lap around and pinch barbed wire I put, I put drops, hot glue, drops, on that there is simply because it, I don't want to hit that artery right there. And so everything else, it's kind of hot to see where the barbed wire scratches and pokes. But those two specific places, my neck and my wrists, I will protect my own safety with hot glue. And so it is, you know, well, it's great to see some amazing scenes and nobody wants to be a witness or component of my dad. Nope. It's kind of a hard limit for a lot of people. Yeah. So, you know, you just, again, I negotiate from the standpoint that my safety is my responsibility. And so I will negotiate that, hey, this looks hot, but from here to here, this is covered in hot glue. From here to here, I will protect myself. You can't fold it here. I have an injury here. You can't put that here. The rest is, let's go and have some fun. So yeah, again, I negotiate as an equal and for my own safety, but then I do love the control aspect of, okay, I know my partner is there to keep me alive because nobody wants to work in toy. And, you know, they like to see what pace is they can put me through just to see if I'll add something new to the list of what they can't do to me. Fair. So if somebody wanted to start on the journey of being or becoming a doll, because you said any human that wants to be a doll does not matter body shape, size, identification, like, you know, gender spectrum, any of that does not matter. So we're tossing out all of that. So any individual human, if they want to become a doll, how do they start? Like, how do they start on that path? Find an in human amount of patience because I went through the stubborn line when I was made. And so patience was something that I had to learn, which I also felt as a success for myself. I really pushed myself to, can I hold this for five minutes? Can I hold it for five minutes and 15 seconds? Can I hold it for five, 30? You know, can I hold it for 10? Talk to someone who you trust implicitly. This is the most in-depth relationship, even if you take intimacy out. This is the most in-depth relationship I've ever had because I'm not only giving them my humanity, literally, I am giving them my trust. And unfortunately for me, that has gone wrong before. And so reclaiming that with my very dear friend, Andromeda, has really opened up my heart again to it, but patience and be mentally aware of where your pitfalls are. Dollification has some significant triggers and speed bumps and mental, what the fox, that you will hit and they are normal to hit. And if you are ready, you can move past them and if you are not, they will be detrimental to your mental soul. What are some of those traps? So for example, my pitfall a few years ago, I was dolling with someone after my master had passed and we had done a couple of local classes on dollification and they went well. We went to a con out of state and I did not know anyone in that state at that time and it really was exciting and getting back into it because my master and I have been teaching for like 15 years by that time. So getting back into teaching was great. We decided to do a scene in the dungeon, full doll immersion. We did a chain marry and adding scene. That person left me in doll head space and put me in a folding chair and walked off with someone else. And I thankfully, the producers of the event saw me sitting there and that person did not come back and they got me to my room safely. I was going in and out of doll head space, human head space, doll head space and I was scared and so the producer was very gentle and said, "Are you going to be okay?" And I said, "I think so." And I called my best friend who moved my flight and stayed on the phone with me and moved my flight because I just could not pull myself back together. I alternated really hard. Really hardly. That grammar is a thing. I alternated really hard and I lost. My human was shocked and my doll was scared and somewhere in the middle, me, me as me was like I lost my ability to focus. And so this, the fear and the what the fuck got a little too much and so my best friend got me to the airport, like stayed on the phone with me for, and we're talking 115 in the morning and moved my flight to the earliest flight at 720, stayed on the phone with me until I got in the shuttle from the hotel to the airport. I hung up so that I could get through security and thank God for TSA clear, by the way, anybody who means that because that made that so much faster and easier and less invasive from my body. God air waited, called again, she sat there and just talked, we talked and laughed and cut up and they were there the airport for me when I got back to Houston. For two years, I dealt with significant, could not get into doll headspace because I dealt with abandonment issues. I couldn't go fully immersed back into doll because I kept thinking that the top was going to leave and then I would just be doing this again. So it kind of broke my brain for a little bit and fortunately, especially with Andromeda who was very patient, we had been talking about this since before COVID, was incredibly patient and such a dear friend and their partner took the extra of, when we taught our first class together, took the extra of to say, what can I do to make sure your headspace is safe? And I'm like, if you're in my eye line during the class, please don't leave my eye line because I will have an abandonment issue. And he stayed right there no matter where I looked, no matter what was going on and this is their partner, not mine, their partner. But it was still someone who I consider a friend and so having my maker and my friend keep my eye line helped recover that abandonment issue and put it away. And so it was really monumental to me because there's a lot of times you can't overcome some of these pitfalls. And for a few years I couldn't and so I feel like I have reached a spot where I'm safe in that. But some of the bigger pitfalls are abandonment. The other ones are you really have to focus on identifying yourself as a self. You have to come back to human. You have to take the time to make sure that you're with someone who will bring you back to human because so I consider dehumanization and dollification like a 401 501 level. You can be objectified as a 101. Everybody likes to be an object of desire. Hot damn sign me up. That's a 101. Then you start getting into some degradation. You're kind of degrading the self. And so that's a 201. You know, but then you add in a sexual component as a high 201 301 and you start getting into dehumanizing someone. You are making them sexually relevant as an it. There is they're not sexually relevant as a person. They're sexually relevant as the it. And then you get into dollification or a further dehumanization as a sexual component and then dollification. So you're reinstilling that they have a persona but not as a person. And so you'll hit some of the big landmines are body dysmorphia. So you didn't like me as me so you turned me into something else. There's a lot of guilt there and there's a lot of adjustments that people need to make both as a partner and as whatever relationship you have because there can be weight loss, weight gain. There can be significant body modifications. You become stronger. You become healthier. They lose weight. They gain muscle just from training and being able to hold positions is a very stick your arm out straight out for 15 minutes. Your muscle will fail. I don't care how strong you are. And actually the more muscular strength training you are the quicker it will fail. Toning will keep you where your muscle can stay. But that takes effort. That takes training. You have to hold something out just like anybody ever did two days in college or high school sitting against the wall. Have you ever done wall stands where you put your hands on the ground and your ass on the wall, your feet are about three inches off the ground. You're literally pushing. The only thing holding you is a butt cheek and your palms. That is sense of strength. So that can make your seeing different. But if you did not start with that, if that was not your original body chemistry and you are making yourself that people get dumped because now there's an ego. Your doll looks better. And so now they have a different sense of self or ego. If they've lost a ton of weight, if they gained a ton of weight, it's also that. Changing your hair color. Maybe your doll is supposed to be blonde. Changing the way they dress. Just in general, to go to a benbo. There are some significant body months that you can do. Adding boobs, adding breasts, adding lips, face lips, body lips, complete body makeovers. So you have to really have the sense of self and know that there has to be a lot of discussions for those. Like, are you ready for a mommy lift? That's a full, encompassing six month body healing thing. Are you ready for that? Are you ready for it psychologically or are you ready for it physically? Are you ready for it financially? Dolling can be as simple as putting a bow on and it can be as simple as $100,000 worth of outfits and body modifications. So what you put into it is where your brain needs to go, but just realize that there are complete and utter triggers that are going to mess with your brain and you and your partner have to know how to bring you back to the human. It's always imperative to bring you back to the human. The training to be a doll is it just holding these positions not in doll head space or what does that look like? Again, it can be as simple as putting a bow in your hair or whatever else you like. I don't see a ton of my henbows throwing a bow in their hair, but it can be. It can be very simple to transform into a doll because of the dolls that I and my maker like to play with strength training is a must. I must be able to entertain the crowd by them being mean to me. So I have to stick my hand in the air and when we were in Minnesota, by the way, God bless Minnesota for having a heat wave when we were there in December because even our uber drive was like, yeah, this is unseasonably warm. It was 19 when we landed and it was 34 when we were leaving and he was like, yeah, it's unseasonally warm and it's like, well, God took a little bit of credit for us because he knew we would die. He did Rachel's temperature just a little, but my maker put my hand up in the air and then put ice in my hand. Well, when I'm fully under and tall, I can't feel that. And so they then stuck my leg out and tamed my foot while I was still holding ice above my head. And it was so cold. It was so cold. I thought they had slapped me in the face. Oh, wow. And it took both of our friends and their partner to say, nope, they did not slap you. And I'm like, well, my face and they're like, it's just cold. And so, but it takes strength to hold your leg straight out, especially if somebody's going to cane it. And I'm not, I can't move away from it because it, I'm not me. I'm a doll. And so, is that entertaining? Yes, that's why we teach the class. But the biggest, I would say the biggest strength you have to have in dollification is not necessarily physical, it's mental. You really have to build up to the headspace of providing entertainment, not seeking it. So, let me ask this with a type of play where the point is specifically to not move, to not speak. How does that affect safe-warding? Do you just break that ruler to something else that you have? To have them. In dollification scenes for me, and a few other dolls that I know, by the time you have gotten to an actual dolling scene, not just the training, not the fun build-ups of an actual scene, you have enough trust with that person that they know you better than you. And so, there is no, there is a, it's a pure CNC thing. However, if I come out of doll space and become human in the middle of a scene, my maker can see that because I then have eye contact. Because a doll, I don't have eye contact during a scene because that's a human thing. That is a slave thing for me. If I get to make eye contact, I'm human. As a doll, there is no eye contact. And so, if I get eye contact, or if I make it, my maker knows I'm no longer a doll. And so, they immediately act different. But I do not play, I do not doll with sappers simply because these are so immersive that I need more safety from myself than them. Interesting. Interesting. Did I just scare out the room? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I mean, it's just one of those, like, to process that as to, you know, looking at it as you, you know, you said it's a pure CNC with it. And you can basically stay in your doll head space and stay there. But if you make eye contact and that tells your maker that for whatever reason you've dropped out of that head space and you're back to more, maybe not fully back, but more towards human than not, he can't, he doesn't continue because then to continue that just wouldn't, I wouldn't say be right, but it just wouldn't fit type day. Yes, my maker is non-binary. Andromeda is amazing. But the best part of having my maker that I don't have intimacy with, which is new for me, that's way new for me, is they notice more as my friend. Now, my maker who was my master, my quote unquote coming out of doll was to be fucked human. And so I got to enjoy that finally, like I could move my hips or ask for more or, you know, harder, deeper, faster, meaner, whatever. So that has been a very different experience because now it is fully encompassing in the control for me. I am fully at the controls mercy. And coming back to human is eating a banana because everything is magnified by five for me when I come back. It's sort of like, you know, when your leg falls asleep and then it starts getting those ants, that's my entire body. Everywhere that they have hit me or hurt me or made me hold ice is five times as hard. And so I'm overwhelmed by feelings because I've worked very hard to shut those off for a doll in the scene. And so they are magnified exponentially. Unfortunately, that also means when the evil people give me a banana, that that raunchy ass food that mushy crap is in magnified in my mouth, but it's a benefit in two ways, one because it's entertaining as shit to them. To me, I can't avoid it. I can't go back in adult. If you gave me pineapple or strawberry, I'd be like, okay, doll is happy. Sustinance, go back in adult head space. But a banana has the most gone awful. Frigging whatever flavor that is. And so I can't avoid it. And so my entire brain and nose is just leaking banana. And so I can't get off that flavor. And so I'm definitely human. There is no slipping away from that god awful crap in my mouth. I'm sorry I laugh only because I'm like, no, I know what you're describing because I'm not a huge fan of bananas. I can, don't get me wrong. I can deal with it. Like, I'm okay with them in banana bread. But none of them changed into something different. But the pudding throw down. I can throw it in. Right. But a freaking banana when all I want to do is just be, you know, a nothing and then just have that, like, and you can't escape it. No. Y'all are weird. Yeah. For me, it's also a textural thing. Right. It's like a mushroom who actually wants to intentionally eat dirt. Like, I want to know, I don't even want to know the first person because they were just hungry. I want to know the second person who said, oh, you know what? That dirty fungus looks great. I'm going to eat that with you, bro. So you don't like the taste of foods that are valid. Got it. You know what? I could go down on the banana all the end day, but not after darling. And I put them in my protein shakes all the time. I have a banana and my chocolate fair life. But I can't, after darling, it is the most foul of noxious little, and my mouth. So to end a scene, they just put banana in your mouth and that's not true. Oh, no, no, no, no, because then I would definitely choke. No, they make me come back to human and then hand it to me and grand while we're answering questions or talking to other people. And I'm like crying and snotty and my snot's even banana-ish. It's just not pretty. I like banana. I know. Yeah, I can tolerate a lot of things human, but as a doll, does a owl thing. As we start to wrap up, start to move into the part of the show we like to call Inside the Kingsdor Studio, is there anything else you think we need to know about dollification? Oh, so many, many things. I can talk about it for hours and hours. That's why you said need it. I know. I know. Need for dollification. Be honest. And I mean so brutally honest with yourself. This is, you need to be honest with your partner, but this is honest with yourself because you are going to get into mental and physical situations and dolling and objectification and degradation and dehumanizing that are going to mess up your head. And you need to take the time to process that and be genuine because if you are not genuine or honest with yourself, your partner is not a mind reader. I've yet to meet any of them who can do it. They can see signs, but if you're not honest, you're not even given the right sign either. So be honest because this may not be for you or the type of doll may not be for you. And if you have mental health, I don't want to say issues, but mental health tendencies, you need to take those into account that this may be detrimental to your mental health and it may not be helpful. On the other side of that is it may be incredibly cold. But you may have a hard time coming back to being human because it's very easy to let this separation of human and doll mentality. It's very hard to let that go once you found the calm in it. So be genuine to yourself and then to your partner. Well, no, no. Let's go into inside the Kingston studio. This is part of the show where we get to know you a little bit better outside of dollification in our own little fun, unique way. Are you gay? Absolutely. God help us all. Okay. So what is your secret origin story into cake? Oh, well, I met my master when I was 18. I absolutely fell in love with the control aspect of it. He was much older and I loved every single bit of it. Never looked back. Besides yourself, what is your favorite toy in the toy bag? I hope she's not in the toy bag. Don't keep... She's... No, I'm like... I'm like as a doll, she potentially could be put into a toy bag. I was thinking of other people's toy bags. Mine is big enough she could be in there with a fronter too. I see. I was thinking body bag to come back to life as a doll. Like, come on now. Right, that means so still. Okay, so me as like doll or me as a doll. Oh, so just... So either you as doll or you as an individual. Okay. What is your favorite toy in the toy bag? Ooh, I'm gonna say hands. I know that they're not technically in the bag, but they're definitely in the bag. They're not in the bag of tricks, so hands. It makes it... I like the personal part of it. Okay. Starting tomorrow, your nipples are gonna taste like the red-o's. Regular cool ranch. Yeah. I'm about as white, Brad, as you can get, so I'm guessing I'm gonna have to go ranch. Okay. What's something surprising you've learned about yourself? Like, on your kink journey? Surprising that I learn? About yourself. I am quite a fucked up individual. To look like an absolutely sane, raised well, went to school, got good grades. I'm not from a broken household to like death and depravity of my kinks that I like. I definitely have to take a second and be like, "Wow." All right, then. So let's call this the reverse-dollification question. Okay. If one of your toys were to come to life, which one would you want it to be in life? One of my toys came to life? Yeah. Oh my God. So my beastie has this ogre cock. And I am a tick-tock and X-in-X-X-Fan. Ogre gang bang corn is like all that. So yeah, I wouldn't mind being his bitch. Hold on, I'm gonna raise that one down. Yeah. I mean, warcraft, the, like, don't think Lord of the Rings ogre because those are really bad. I like the warcraft ogre. Like, you have to, I think it's on Amazon or now, but like, really big, absolutely manhandlingly muscular. And I don't, I mean, I can handle the green ones, but in the movie, the green one is evil, so I prefer not to have the green one. Like, just, uh, nothing but cock and muscles. Yeah, I'm here for it. Well, my next question was going to be, what's the strangest combinations of words you've ever searched for on porno? But I think we just covered that one. Oh, no, no, no, that's not even close. Oh, no, I'm curious. Porno is actually in the top 100 search. Thank you. So I'm not even that strangely out one. Oh, that's fair. The strangest thing I've ever, oh, um, so man, there is this, I read, I like the readings when I'm searching for the abnormal shit because if you make my porn fantasy in real life or in porn and they don't make it the way my brain wants it, I'm like, yeah, I'm checked out. It's a little caught to me. But the ones that write it, like the story, the sex stories that they put up, oh my goodness. So I don't even know that it's that odd, but it's the humiliation of Jennifer and being Mr. Miller's, uh, what is it called? Being Mr. Miller's slut, I think. There's some fucked up stuff in both of those. And they're like eight parts. And I am here for every inch of it. So it sounds like a normal search, but it does, it, it doesn't end up normal. So, you know, I, I guess even my searches are kind of vanilla bread, but they don't go that way. Like he barters her for the demons. Uh, there's like a whole barn demon sex scene so that he gets his, uh, cornfield to be prosperous for him and his family, but he turns over this, you know, girl for it. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. Boy, my neurodivergent mind, I, you said barn demon. I am picturing like a red barn that is sentient with horns. But I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant. No, no, he, he turns her over to an orgy of demons who then bless his land so that him and his wife and his sweet little family all benefit from this runaway girl that they kidnapped and gave to the demons to fuck to, um, then bless his own land and family. And I'm like, yeah, I could be that little runaway. That, that'd be hot. Yeah, that makes so much more sense. She's not, she's not actually humping the barn, but what's going on in that barn is pretty good to know. What a mighty big silo. I'm like, yeah, are you a season or is it just that time of year? You know, oh my gosh. You're a great askin' these questions now. No, not at all. There's a joke in there about annual sex and then the newer pile out back, but you never knew which bridge you'll be for the night. Okay, next. I know, I'm like, what do I follow? Damn. Who he's bitched at me about like, you know, taking the good questions. What's something that somebody would be surprised to know about you? Yeah, I'm pretty sure the demon barn thing's gonna be up there, but, um, all right, besides the demon barn, you got another barn? Pretty surprised to know about me. Huh, I am an incredibly boring person. I am, I have so much going on in real life that like, I garden, I'm very much a 50s house wife type of person. So I don't know that I really stretch the imagination except for my kings. Like, when you see me, I am the ultimate soccer mom. I am a pearl wearing dress wearing soccer mom minus the caron bitchiness, um, that will then throw down to talking about Orch gang bangs. So I'm going to assume that I'm a walking talking surprise. Because I mean, I can, I can talk petroleum engineering or marketing and analytics and building a business and paying your taxes and reading legal contracts that I do on the side to tear them down for people who want to do corporate takeovers. That's my job right now is, is looking for loopholes and hundred page contracts and, you know, and then still on the other screen of my computer, I've got Orch gang bang hand tie going on. So I'm pretty sure I am the walking talking surprise. Pretty sure they're not going to have any of that Orch gang bang at the corporate meeting. Or at soccer practice. Really? This is true. The right, the right was exactly. That was your first self chosen screen name or email and why did you pick it? My name used to be in the old Yahoo groups because I have been doing kinks since 98 was far from heaven. And that was because my nickname as a kid and on my Letterman's jacket through college and a lot of people who knew me growing up was Hellian. And so far from heaven was my original name. And that is that, and most people called me heaven, which always entertained my master and my, because I was not. And so, yeah, I was far from heaven. And then when he passed, I could not keep that name. I just could not hold on to that name. And so my best friend in the whole wide world, she was like, you know, you are such, and my grandmother still calls me doll. She calls me doll baby. And she's like, you are such a little vintage doll. Like you're just adorable. And I was like, oh my God, that's my new screen name. And she's like, yeah, but throw, there's something in there so it doesn't look so vanilla bread on, on fat. And so we, we did vintage kinky doll. Nice. What's the best kink advice that you've ever received? That I've ever received? Yeah. Yeah. I believe Bugs Bunny said that first. I, I had a guy who interrupted a scene years and years and years ago. And I was just like, I can't believe like, why would you fuck with our headspace like that? And he's like, don't take yourself too seriously. And I was like, yeah, I'm actually not. But I am the pit bull on my master's leash, so I am taking his headspace seriously. And he was like, oh, that's actually pretty respectful. I apologize. Like, come on. Well, that was nice. But yeah, it kind of stuck with me as little just, I have survived every worst day I've ever lived through. And I can do that by not taking myself too seriously. What was your biggest fashion faux pas? I, I want to say in eighth grade was trying to wear hammer pants to be cool. And I wore a uniform to school. Yes, I am the proverbial through 12th grade Catholic girl. But tried to wear those two at dance with my two friends. Here's the problem. My two friends were five foot nine and five foot ten. And I am five foot five and a half. And those pants on shorties like me just make it look like you poop yourself and your diaper was full. So it was not a great look. No, that's probably accurate. Yeah, so yeah, it just, there was something about the way it hung off the back of your mouth, but it was just like, oh, wow, that's an image. I'm like that's 90's fashion. Right. Yeah, yeah, uh-huh. They were not too legit, so you have to quit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to tell them, bye, bye, bye. All right, toilet paper roll over under over. I'm all about a beer, not a, not a, uh, mullet. Fair. So time for the reverse suit, oh, card. You get to ask us any question. The only catch is they can't have been asked to us before. Okay. What is the raunchiest kink you've ever wanted to try? Haven't had the where we're called to pull it off yet. What have an eye done? I get one point in time for me. It was chain fisting, but you know, we teach that. I do it in front of lots of people. Hmm. Okay. Okay, so we can't do raunchies, and it just seemed to be doing this. What have you, what have you seen that made you go, hmm, that you haven't tried yet? Not sure what I haven't tried, but oh wait, wait, wait, wait, that Valorina and Barbwater didn't really, that sounds pretty darn cool. It is, it is, trust me. So the Valorina, Barbwater would probably be a hard limit for me because, you know, however, you do have another play partner that that could be there, which would be perfect. I'm a light bottom when it comes to pain like that. Okay. So yeah, hmm, let's see here, a few things that I've seen that have been like, huh? So fully encased rubber pony, a gentification, let's see here. Yeah, the fully encased rubber pony looks absolutely amazing. I follow so many ponies on my fat that I'm just like, I wanted to get into that for years, and it appeals to the dull as well. And then there was another with ponies, it was ponies, kiddies, but a pet actually, where I doubt that I could do this only because of how one of my knees are, but it was where the pet was turned into a short pet, but they were on all fours. So you would be walking like your thighs and calves were tied together, so that way you'd be walking on your knees. And yes, I understand there's padding and it's wrapped. But then like your forearms are roped to your biceps and you're walking on your elbows too. So you are walking that way as a pet, but like you're fully encased pet. So you're like master Gordon stuff because that was really hot back in the day. Like, there was that, yeah, there was a few things that he had done too that I was like, oh, yeah. Yep. I think he found the most broken people in the world to do the greatest kinks, but you have to look back and think, what's on the back and so jaw. It was hot. It was really hot and I appreciate that other people went before me, but you still have to wonder like, huh? Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah. Well, and I was going to say for the ponies thing, um, have you ever seen, um, some of the ponies that run, um, at Folsom and, um, mistress, Lily and I hunt and her team of horses that she has sometime. Oh my gosh. Mm hmm. Yeah, those of us made me still go pause. And as a pony that still makes me go really pause because you had the boy who had the red feather on his head, um, right before COVID. So it's like 18 or 19. Oh my good god. I wanted to be that pony. Oh, yeah. So not launching, but I did think of another one. I've always said I wanted to do pet play and I want to be a platypus and I've never given it any more thought beyond that. I like it. I mean, some pets you can do without here. I think you need some gear to present as a platypus. I mean, you know, I'm sure they make a Donald Duck type, uh, Halloween costume. It's just painted black. Also, I could not get Perry the platypus out of my head once I get to that spot. So there'd also be a fedora in there and I can't do that sound he makes. Okay. Okay. I'm now I'm picturing Phenyson Furbin, some sort of leather harness and a gimp mask. So this big triangular gimp mask. Oh, yeah, that would be hot. Yeah. All right. Final two questions. Okay. What's your favorite curse word? I'm pretty sure I've thrown down with it quite a bit. Um, I used to not be allowed to cuss. And so I was with my master for 17 years. So I feel like I have a lot of fuck to express for all the years. I was not allowed to cuss. I'm also pretty sure Beastie is going to take that away from me soon. So I'm trying to get all the f words out. I can. So you have a lot of fucks to do? I have a lot of fucks to throw around. Yes. But remind me that if we are ever in the same space to find one of the little jars for you to have extra fucks to have. I like it. I like it. And the final question in my favorite to ask if you had to have sex with one mop it, which mop it would it be in why? Cookie Monster. Absolutely. Cookie Monster. I know he can already throw down and I'd like to see what he can do with that mouth. Actually, you know what I take that back. I take that back. I want the tickle me Elmo because that little fucker can vibrate all over the place. That's fair. I absolutely. You know, I don't mind a good munching down for the cookies and then I get food and crumbs. But he can vibrate and do what he needs to do. I'm all there. Yeah, that's it. Awesome. So if somebody wants to contact you or follow you on social media, what's the best way to do that? I am on FET as Vintage Kinky Doll. I on Instagram, I use my business. I am VKD Artisan and I make soaps and baths and stuff like that. But I do answer kink questions all the time. My vintage kinky doll Instagram keeps getting blocked and in trouble. So if you message me there, it may take me 30 days to answer you. So hit the VKD Artisan one and I can answer you. If ticktock sticks around, I'm also VKD Artisan on there. And those are the main, I'm on FET and Instagram. I mean, FET and ticktock every day. Yeah, just. Well, thank you very much for coming on the show. Yes, thank you. I've loved learning about dollification. You've been very informative for listeners upcoming synagogue in person in virtual classes on chain fisting. Scene negotiation with strangers. Electroplay both with and without the violet wand and there's another one I'm forgetting right now. For more information on those, however, visit our website. Remember everybody, your kinks are nothing to be ashamed of. Unless of course you have a humiliation fetish which in which case you should be very, very ashamed, you dirty little pervert. But that's it. That's our show. Say bye bye bye, little bit. Bye bye bye, little bit.