Ep27 - "The Modern 1950's Household" with Mrs. Darling

Ep27 - "The Modern 1950's Household" with Mrs. Darling

What it is (and isn't) may surprise you! Including day-in-the-life depiction, definitions and terminology, and dispelling myths.

Mrs Darling has been actively involved in the community since 2010, including leading TNG, founding Submissive Ladies United Together, and organizing the local MAsT chapter.

Mrs. Darling shares her life in submission as a contributing author for SubmissiveGuide.com. Her debut full-length book “Darling Discovered" won Best Non-Fiction Book at 2017 BDSM Writer’s Con. 

Her essay detailing their "Modern Day 1950s M/s Household" is featured in "Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/slave Relationships," authored by Raven Kaldera.

Mrs. Darling loves nothing more than serving her husband, his home, and the BDSM community.

• Fetlife.com/MrsDarling
• DarlingDiscovered.com

Welcome to the SINagogue. they call me the Rabbi. I put the SIN in SINagoguge.and am a cisgender, ambimorous, gynesexual, sadistic bratty daddy-dom. Sex therapist by day and a kink educator by night, I help people make their kink a religious experience. I am a mental health professional, this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a replacement for therapy. Seek out the assistance of a trained professional for help with your situation.  

Reminder, we try to make our content as inclusive as possible regardless of gender, orientation, role in the lifestyle, etc., but we do inherently speak from our own point of view. We want to learn from our mistakes. If you feel like we said something offensive, let us know. Reach out via our website or call us at 469-269-0403.

Today’s show was brought to you in part by the letters S and M, and the Number 69. 

*San Dimas High School Football Rules*

Chapters

• 1:29 Introductions
• 10:29 How Hard Is It ...?
• 22:08 Modern Stone Age Family
• 28:33 On My Knees
• 39:53 Identity
• 47:45 Terms
• 57:18 Bird Is The Word
• 1:03:33 Final Thoughts
• 1:04:42 Inside The Kinkster's Studio

Transcript

1:14

Hosting with me today is my partner, my ADHD squirrel wrangler, my submissive, my brat, my little my pony, or just my little pony. Awwww. The beev to my wally, little bit. Oh my gosh. This is episode number 27 when with us today is Mrs. Darling to talk about the modern day 1950s household. But it is and isn't may surprise you, including day in the life depiction, definitions, and terminology and dispelling myths. But first, a word from our sponsor. Mrs. Darling has been actively involved in the community since 2010, including leading TNG, founding submissive ladies, united together, and organizing the local mass chapter. Mrs. Darling shares a life in submission as a contributing author for submissiveguy.com. Her debut, full length book, Darling Discovered One Best Nonfiction Book at 2017 BDSM RidersCon. Her essay detailing their modern day 1950s MS household is featured in the paradigms of power, styles of master slave relationships authored by Raven Caldera. Mrs. Darling loves nothing more than serving her husband, his home, and the BDSM community. Thank you for being here in the synagogue. Let's talk about the modern day 1950s household. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really looking forward to the conversation today. Okay, so where does one begin with the 1950s household? So I guess the probably the best way to maybe start discussing it is start discussing it as the terminology came to me in my household, maybe our beginning in the 1950s household. We had taken our vanilla egalitarian, like we met dated, married in a vanilla egalitarian relationship. And it was failing very quickly. And so through like a million hours, like other couples who come into BDSM, we spent all sorts of time having conversation about what was working and what was not working in our household. And for us, a lot of the conversation was about division of obligation, division of labor, division of power. And eliminating some of the power struggle in many egalitarian marriages or relationships. And so we reinvented ourselves into what looks like an old fashioned 1950s household where my husband works. He makes the decisions. He pays the bills. I stay home. I cook, I clean, I bake, I take care of the household. And then through our journey into BDSM, we learned more and more about the 1950s household. And it felt a little bit like coming home to us. And when Ravencaldera sent out, I had been documenting, writing my deepening and submission to my husband and somebody connected me with Raven who had put out a poll of DS couples specifically because the paradigms of power is about master slave relationships and the way that they structure those relationships. And put out a poll and asked King Sturrs who were living this way, how do you closely identify? And they listed a bunch of different ways like leather and gore. Like what you traditionally think of is ways of that a MS dynamic or DS dynamic could look or function as. And the 1950s household was both the most indicated that people identified as 1950s household. But then also too, it was the last essay to be authored. It's like a lot of people liked the idea of 1950s household. But there weren't a lot of people kind of defining it or talking about it. And so my husband and I sat down, put pen to paper and tried to document what a modern day 1950s household looks like in a BDSM way. And so I think that that's probably how we got started into really talking in depth about what it looks like for our 1950s household. Gotcha. So how long have you been living the 1950s household? Since 2010, full time, we came into our 24/7 total power exchange, dominant and submissive relationship in 2010. So about 15 years now, that means it's been 15 years or more 16 years ago. When we made the transition, I haven't worked outside of the home. My official job title is Homemaker. I make my husband's home beautiful. And my entire job on earth is serving him his house, cooking, cleaning, baking, tending to his needs, making him happy, and serving his house in the community. And so that's my job. That's what I do 24 hours a day is as a homemaker. And we put a lot of hard work and effort to make sure that we did it in a very safe way. And we continue to do checks and balances to make sure that we're doing it in a really smart way because it's a fairly risky relationship dynamic in that I'm not working. Now a lot of people in the 1950s household, they still do work both part, both the head of household and homemaker work. And so 15 years. That's awesome. I mean, you're putting it out there as if it sounds just... You're putting it out there and making it sound like, "Oh yeah, this is like super easy, but I know damn well just how much effort and work goes into it on both sides, especially to, you know, you're running and managing a household, even through the power exchange. And yeah, it being a full time job, it's a full time job." Yeah, it's definitely our division of labor, our division of power in our household for the last 15 years, as existed in that my husband, my head of household. So that's a lot of the 1950 practitioners. That's how we kind of divide it is head of household and homemaker. And so my husband is 100% in charge of the financial health of the home. And he's in charge of final decision making and I handle everything else. And it's so funny because I feel like both of us look at each other's side of the slash and what we're obligated to. And we're both a little bit relieved to have chosen our side of the slash because what he does, which is supporting the home financially, but like not just like make a job, pay the bills, he does entirely, but you know, he funds our retirement account, like we're in a marriage, like he has to fund my retirement account. He has to make sure that like life insurance is paid, like he does all of these really big financial things, not just for me, but for the entire household. And then in final decision makers. And so, but he's really, he always jokes that he is really grateful he would never trade sides with me because I do everything else. I do, I mean, his personal shopper, he, I don't think he's gone into a grocery store in a decade. He doesn't go into stores. He doesn't clean a toilet. He, he does nothing outside of stay focused on that income production and final decision making unless he wants to join in. So like, of course, that's on him. He certainly pitches in if I look overwhelmed or something like that with my set of the slash, but yeah, it's a full, it's a full time job. It's truly 24/7. Yeah. How hard is it as a, and I'm going to, like I feel like I'm just kind of jumping into the deep end on this of, all right. So how hard is it as a modern woman, modern individual? And with society saying, okay, as a modern individual, you know, that you should be able to, you should have your own job, do the, you know, be independent on all of that, like how much of a risk and how, I wouldn't say scary, but I guess, I'm really scary, but scary. Was it, too, you know, really go through all of that and consciously make that decision of like, I am giving up, yeah, I wouldn't say this power, but this power for you to have as much control over my life, you know, with that, with that type of thing. It's so funny because of course we have a play and a SNM dynamic, sexual dynamic in our marriage. And I always joke that like, despite the fact that we play pretty edgy, we've been together 20 years now. And so fire and knives and like breath, like, like all the like really scary things. And I feel like if I were to stack up what I feel like our advious play is, it's this relationship dynamic. It's the 1950s household. It is truly an exchange of power. It came over a long time. So I think that's always important to recognize this did not happen overnight to a person that was unfamiliar to me. I always like to encourage submission being a little bit like waiting into unknown water where like you just don't dive in and start swimming really fast really far. You just like go into your ankles and then like let the water move you a little bit and feel the temperature and understand what the depth. And then you take slow baby steps and that's definitely what we did. We didn't leap into this. It is it is scary and it is definitely I have given up power in exchange for a life of my greatest fantasy, which is to live without the obligation of like those big final decisions, to live without having to work for a living, to be able to tap into what I feel is the most authentic me, the happiest me, which is one who focuses on my home, my household, the people in it, my friends and family that are we surround ourselves to being able to volunteer in the community and get back my effort because I like to serve my community as well as my husband and house. It's it's the power that I've given up is equal to the freedom that I've been given in the life decisions. And so that helps. Yeah. That that sounds absolutely awesome. I mean, in the sense of yeah, I mean, it's it's the okay, well, I've given up this, but in exchange, I'm able to give back to the community. I'm able to have like the work obligation. I mean, I have my home, the household homework obligation, but part of me also says like once you get in a good routine with that, then you figure out like, okay, what outside stuff can I put off my additional energy to as you, you know, yes, I still have this, I still have this, my house is running smoothly. I'm really good, but how can I also foster good things and like, you know, our community and everything like that, which is absolutely needed as well, which sounds, you know, absolutely amazing. Yeah, I think it's our 1950s household grew out of the idea. So we, my husband and I were both working with obviously I have a college degree. I was a good income earner. I had an excellent career. And we asked ourselves the question really became when we, when we said, can we do this? Can we function with one, with one income? And we make it, make this make sense. And the real driving question was, if my husband worried about nothing in the home, how far could he get in his career? And if I worried about nothing financial or career related, how beautiful could I make our home? And that's really the balancing act, which is, I'm sure if you've been in a long term relationship, it's not unfamiliar to be at the end of a work day. It'd be at the end of eight hours and then commuting and, oh, what's for dinner? I don't know. You decide we just had this. Who's picking up drives? And it felt like a never ending conversation. Us is to equal powerful like career people leaving out in the home and going to work in the world every day. And so we asked, could we sacrifice the money that I was making? And he replaced that if he was never obligated to clean the toilet to go shop for jeans to could, could we leverage each of our skills? Hases an excellent leader, minus an excellent follower. Could we leverage that into this dream life, this old fashioned dinner on the dinner at the table, 6 p.m. made of our favorite meals within season ingredients, every single time of our lives? Could could I build this dream home? Could he fund the both of us? And the answer has been yes, it's been resoundingly yes. So at the same token, then I'm also going to ask like, how much trust did he put into you with like, on his end of giving up the control of, I'm not going to take care of home because I'm relying on you for that as well? Yeah. So we did a lot of, we spent probably, we'd been living in a 1950s household for about 15 years. The first, I would say, two to three years of which, 10 to 13, we lived in a 24/7 ds dynamic and we really spent those first two or three years as dominant and submissive with written contract that we were, we're very paper oriented people were business oriented people. So, so we like to have stuff written down to reference back to and in every six months we would sit down and we'd review it, we decide what's working was not. But those first two or three years were, have we focus on building the trust that each of us needed? So his trust for me really came down to him training me to be his ideal, filmmaker, to be his ideal submissive. So he's, he had to spend some hands on time with me, this business woman who is going to like, sort, become the soft, home maker who, who wears a line dresses, who, you know, has, has her husband choose the clothes and the hair and the, to look a certain way. He had to, he had to train me. And so we are, we're in a reward and punishment dynamic, we happen. I don't, I can't remember the last time like I'm knocking on wood here that I've, needs to be punished. A lot of that was in the training of it. But he's a very exact, exacting man and he needed to train me and then every single time I successfully accomplished something a little bit more, you know, you placed like a little break of trust and it was in both directions. And so every time he would bring home, literally like bring home the bacon, he's funding our lives. He's taking, you know, he's putting money into our savings. He's doing, he's doing the things just like I'm doing the things. And, you know, in our, in our original contracts in the beginning, it outlined both what I was agreeing to and what he was obligating himself to, the, what the standard he was holding for himself. And so we check in with each other and, uh, yeah, it's built over time. Cool. I know whenever I'm trying to explain the concept of a power exchange to Obanella who is curious or whatever, I use the 1950s household because I think it's the one that was easiest and quickly understood to people on the outside. With that said though, I imagine it's also the one that you can be the most public about. Um, so probably in that, uh, we probably get away with a lot. We're just like so boring, publicly facing. We look like tax paying, uh, voting, um, like we look like we're, uh, my day collar that I wear is, um, has been upon my neck. Nobody's noticed in, in, you know, 13 years, um, it just looks like a pretty necklace. Uh, they, we probably get away with a lot. And I'll tell you, it's, I don't think it's just us, but having interactions with other people in the 1950s household, that whole unassuming thing being like the idea of a white picket fence with like a dungeon in the basement that nobody knows about, that's part of our kink. Like that's part of what makes it exciting for us is that we can both, like, we can both live this way, like literally, literally enslaved, like the shit that we do, but then nobody knows, like nobody ever knows. And that's part of the thrill for us. It did get to a point, obviously, I, I would say probably two years into us doing this independently where we really needed the BDSM community. And so we did get involved so we could at least like take that mask off and talk to other people about it. Sure. Learn from them, exchange with them. And so yeah, uh, you can like, skate by and public a little bit with it. And I also do think that it's very approachable for vanilla people who are learning about, who are learning about power exchange dynamics. It's very easy to, because there's, there's pop culture examples of it, right? We've all seen, I love Lucy. We've all seen examples of the little lady, which I don't think 1950s household have anything to do with gender. I, they're reverse 1950 households who have a female being the head of household that it doesn't make any difference to, to me, to us. But we have all seen examples of these types of like, here's a Scotch at the end of the day. I'm waiting in a pretty dress like, hi, dear, sit down to the hot meal. It's very easy to for example, power exchange. Sure. Gotcha. I mean, the pop culture reference that keeps popping up into my head, although I know it's a decade late as the Flintstones. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. I think, and I think that it extends into the 60s as well. I don't think, you know, it's kind of a mid-century modern notion. If we start looking at the real rise of feminism that kind of changed the trajectory, I would say, you know, it's what later in the 70s. And so anywhere in those 50s, 60s is going to feel a little bit like what our relationship looks like. So since you brought it up, I know there is always pushback with female identifying submissives that it's anti-feminist. Yeah. I have to imagine you get some of that pushback not only from the King community, but also the vanilla community. Since you are open about that, how do you respond to that? Also to myself. I mean, I feel like that's something that as a feminist, as a woman who is in full support of, I want people, I love that I have the option, but not the obligation to live this way. That it's difficult for me. I mean, it's something that I had to come to terms with. And I would just say it's that. It's certainly you can be a feminism being a feminist supporting women's rights, pushing for that isn't contingent upon your relationship style and it isn't contingent upon your career choices. You can fight for those things, believe in those things regardless of those things, whether you're single or partnered, whether you work inside or outside of the home. And so I, you know, I want to encourage people to continue the good fight, continue working to ensure that women have the freedom to choose the life that they want. I'm very grateful for the fact that we lost you. We lost you. Lost you. Did your screensaver go off? I think so. Hello. Uh oh. Try again. Hello. I'm sorry. Yeah, I lost you for a second. That's okay. The last thing we heard was I am very grateful for. I'm very grateful for the opportunity to do this without the obligation to. Yeah. Gotcha. So it is proof of an S because it is a choice. I think so. Yeah. Gotcha. There is my other pop culture reference that keeps coming into my head. Which one? Uh episodes of the original Quantum Leap series. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was also thinking, um, at the earlier versions of WandaVision 2. Mm hmm. Because that would be like, you know, something that somebody has might have seen like more recent versus some of the others. So. Yeah, a lot of people like to take the end. Like show, a lot of people like, um, leave it to be for. And there's, there's always references to some of those old shows, also some new shows that that reference it. And, um, you know, to, just like any other part of BDSM, you take what you like about it and incorporate it and you leave the rest behind, you know, if something about it doesn't interest you. So the power exchange is the 1950s household is your household decked out in 1950s type stuff. So I, uh, I do lean like to pretty clean modern aesthetic, uh, not everything is mid century modern and, but I do collect those things. I do navigate towards those things. That's kind of the big division of 1950s household is like the look of the 1950s and then also to like the relationship style is the relationship dynamic of the 1950s in terms of the look for us personally. It is more about how we look, including how we talk, how we act, what we wear, how we interact with people. It's, uh, the etiquette that's involved stuff like that in addition to the relationship stuff. But, uh, our home is in super 1950s, but I do collect things. I definitely wear an apron to clean. I wear exclusively skirts and dresses. Uh, I don't, I haven't owned jeans in 15 years. I don't wear any denim. Uh, I do have a pair of socks or two for the very rare occasion. We live in warmer, uh, colder climate now. And so sometimes you, you have to like devastatingly put on a cute little pair of vintage trousers. But, um, 99% of the time it skirts and dresses only. We definitely have like the look of the 1950s. Red lips, Maryland blonde hair, stuff like that. I like, you're just making this sound all kinds of fun. It is really fun. No, it's really fun. Uh, yeah, it's really fun. I feel very feminine. I feel very beautiful. Yeah, a lot of it has to do with, and this is our personal, really, really, really, really relationship dynamic. But, uh, my dominant, my master, he, he's constantly, like I said, he has very high standards, very exacting standards, but it's all from the point of view of he's helping me become the best version of myself, not what he thinks the best version of me is. But after knowing me and learning me and seeing me and marrying me, he knows that I would feel the very best about who I am as a human on earth. And the days that I, the days that I live and the work that I get done, if certain things happen, and he holds me to that standard. And so I feel like it's a night and day difference. I, I, I'm really proud of how far we've both come in our work, uh, his work outside of the home and my work inside of it, and, uh, physically, mentally, emotionally, how far we've come, yeah. Yeah, it's really fun. It, um, it's a lot, it's a lot of magic eraser, fun being honest. I always warn people. You know, it's, uh, my life, it, it's, it sounds really sexy and sometimes it can be, but of course, like any, uh, most, uh, people who live in 24/7 submission, it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. And so it, I spend much more time on my knees, like scrubbing baseboards than I do, like on my knees for other reasons. That's just the reality of it. Yeah, I mean, like, you know, it's one of those from going, part of this sounds really glamorous and then you're like, today is a toilet scrubbing day. Right, right. Yeah, I feel so glamorous right now. No, not really. Yeah. Yeah, I think that I think what, I think what is really exciting about it is, okay, so if the dream is for me to like, ma, I want to live my life doing nothing but serving my husband, he has to leave to work. We're not, like independently wealthy. We're not for generational wealth. So he has to work to provide for our households. So it's not in me to like lounge. I'm going to roll my sleeves. I'm going to work my tail off. I'm going to accomplish things while he's out accomplishing things. And then we make a really, we make a really big effort to win work together. It's the fun stuff. And when we're apart, we work our asses off. And so we both do it. We both, we both work really hard at it. And so it is sometimes it's, sometimes it's, you know, I spend time on the right and carpet. I, we, he's been so successful in business. And then there's a lot of times where it's, oh my god, to have to like, go to the store, buy his suit, bring it back here, have him try it on, measure the stuff myself to return it back to the tailor to have it tailored to bring it back here. Like he doesn't, he, I do everything. I do everything. And so all, you know, when it's Christmas time, I do all of the, like holiday cooking and baking and cleaning. I do the shopping and the wrapping of gifts. Like he does none of that. So he could focus on his career. Yeah. So pick your poison, I guess. Yeah. But I mean, you know, even as he's focusing on his career, it's also the same token of like, he's also focusing on you to make sure like, you're also well taken care of. For sure. I'm able to support him and it doesn't, and I mean, and for a power exchange, I know that some people, some people view power exchanges of like, oh, well, it's never, or you know, it's, it's, oh, what is it? It's always the submissive giving more than the dominant. Like I've heard that very, very frequently. But in this aspect, it doesn't necessarily seem like it's a 50/50 exchange. It feels like just what you're describing, it seems as if it's a 77/50 exchange. For sure. You're doing, you know, yes, when people are just like, oh, it's just the household, but you're like, no, it's the household. It's all the things. It's including making sure that he is super presentable for work in order to be like, you know, that successful person. And in the same token, he's still, I mean, making decisions and taking in your input. And, you know, you can voice your concerns. And he's like, all right, you know, how do I figure this out in order to make sure that should anything happen to him, you are still taking care of on both of those things. And so it seems as it comes across, your power exchange is more of a 70/70, not, you know, a 60/40 or, you know, whatever type of thing. For sure. And we consider ourselves like two sides of the exact same coin. It's like we both function solidly together doing, but we're two very, we're two different sides of the same coin though. And we are both equally valuable. We are both, but like, we're better together. Like we're our very best together. We can like move mountains when the two of us stay in our lane. And you know, over time, we've put in a lot of those, we've put in a lot of systems to even make the power exchange dynamic really efficient. We have weekly meetings. I know a lot of other couples do. We have weekly meetings that we go over certain, like, checklist of things we need to discuss for the week to come to make sure that we're not all day, every day talking about the dynamic, working on the dynamic. We can just work. We just work. Sure. And yeah, it is the mental load too. He, you know, I, I, the household is everything, but as you said, it's everything in the mental load too, making sure that he has exactly what he needs to have the most successful, like, work as well. Yeah. Are there different expectations of a 1950s household depending upon whereabouts you live in the world? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I would say, I'm sure. I'm, I think that the idea we're living in a city right now, country right now that is very modern in that husbands and wives work. They both work. It's a very egalitarian country. They don't have a lot of state home moms, state home dads, both people, both people in a family, both adults work. They take turns doing all of those things. And so I've seen it from a couple different continents in how accepting it is or is not what it looks like. I'm sure that there's cultures where it's much more welcome or accepted to be like a state home mom, state home wife to not work outside of the home. I know there are cultures where it's, you know, it certainly is a point of pride for my husband, but there are entire cultures where it's a point of pride for a husband to provide for the family and not have their wife work. And I don't think that that's, you know, it's not a king thing. It's about a marriage thing more than anything. And so I think it's important to, I think it's important to have a lot of conversation about how each individual feels like they're best selves. And if you feel your best working outside of home, if you feel your best with a part time job, with a full time job, then to do that, to be that. And like, who, like, I don't know, I don't, I don't spend a lot of time looking into other people's homes, looking into other people's families. It's like, it's very 1950s of us to do, you know, the long, the long running joke is like the old fashioned households you don't talk about religion, you don't talk about politics, you don't talk about money, you just kind of, you know, I want, I want your best bread recipe. And as long as you're happy and healthy and feel good and empowered in your relationship, I think that should be fine, no matter where you're at in the world. For somebody who would be new to this and wanting to try the 1950s households, what are some of the pitfalls you might warn them about? So I always put a lot of people want to live this way or try this way, but they're concerned about the financial side of it and that it makes sense. I always like to share in the beginning the way that we transitioned was I was working, he was working and we decided we wanted to try this and had me work for a six month trial run for like the first six months where I continued working and I would just hand up my paycheck into our bank account, but we like it was a separate savings account. So we didn't spend any household bills out of that. It was as if my money didn't exist and it also allowed us to see exactly how much we were spending to track how much money we were spending on each thing and then at the end of six months when we wanted to take the leap into like a one income household, we had my six months of savings as like our backup. We had that nest egg sitting there. I would say that and then I would also say, you know, we spoke briefly, you had brought up like my relationship will end at some point. Hopefully it's till death to be part and hopefully that's, you know, when we're 120 years old at the exact same time. I think exact same time on earth and then the rest of us has to breathe. I'm not with out each other like that would be the dream, but at some point my relationships my marriage is going to end. So I would say put backup plans, contingency plans in place to prepare for that. It doesn't matter why the relationship will end. All of them do. I'm going to go into this world on my own. I'm going to go out of it on my own one day. Not just financial, but also of course emotional. We have my husband has a lot of sitting for me and is safe. Like a decoloring for when I'm ready for it. Since I'm going to wear his collar until the end of our relationship. So to take those things into account, I would say is a pitfall. Also, like you don't want to go too hard in on the strict rules at once. Try adding in like one to three rules to learn. Like oh, that's for one month. It's like any other habit, right? If you're trying to build good habits, you're not going to do 50 of them in the same month and say all these 50 things need to change in your life. Focus on them one or two most important ones. And slowly add things in. Things like, you know, we'll only eat out one night a week or stuff like that. So I am slowly incorporate things. Society tends to put a lot of emphasis on self-worth being tied to a job and employment value being tied to employment was transitioning out of that a challenge. Yes, but I still feel like I, I still feel like I have a checkpoints in my life as keys as markers to success. So I feel like I put my own goals out there, publish my first book, publish my second book. It's like a perfect vacation for our family this summer. And so all the pressure is like, self comes for myself or my husband, of course, to do excellent things. And like we reward, we reward ourselves. We put goals in place. There's a really great, I may have mentioned it. There's a household manual guide that I think is excellent for anybody who's trying to establish a dynamic and a specific style or within a household, whether it's leather or if it to establish like household values, household morals, household goals like 30 days, 60 days, one year, five year. So my husband runs like a household manual that states our who we are, what, what we're here trying to accomplish together, what we stand for, what we don't stand for. And we review it and but we'll put attached to those goals, those smart goals that we put in place for our household. So this is outside of like his career goals. This is us personally. And we reward ourselves for it. We put tangible goals in place and then we reward ourselves. And so yeah, very cool. Yeah, yeah, but I certainly don't miss like it would be hard for me to go back to having a boss in the world to answer to that is in my husband. I feel like that would be very difficult after adjusting to not answering to anybody, but I'm, yeah, like he's, he's, he's my guidepost. Gotcha. So and I'm trying to figure out how I want to work this without this coming across like me. We're very open buck to you. And so we're not, we're not delegates. Just throw it at me. Well, it's one of those where I'm like, I am trying not to make the sound met, but I'm not sure how to word this correctly to sound met. Okay, so just one of the things like, you know, as a, if somebody was new and I'm listening to you talk and you do all of these things, not just in your home, but outside of your home as well in order to get back to the community. As a new individual, how hard is it not to essentially lose your own sense of self identity to just the household? Like how hard would you think that is or, or did you struggle with that in order to do, I guess just keep going. That's a really great question. I do feel like the person, the woman that I am now, it's very different than the woman who was at the beginning. And I feel like more than losing myself, I truly feel like I found myself. I was able to, and clearly, fading, and having like the like gumption of like, I'm going to speak into the universe, I'm going to speak to my partner, like it turned the idea of doing these things inside the home. It not only like makes me feel fulfilled, but like it turns me on. So being able to say, being my husband's like submissive wife in like a non-fiblical way were agnostic. But like serving him, serving him, and there is like, there is a crossover. I don't discredit the people who come to this because of Christian domestic discipline or domestic discipline. People do come into this. There's a crossover. Sure. But for us, there's, I have found who I feel like I most authentically am as a woman. I feel like I was, it is in my DNA to serve, to service my family. And I go to bed in the dark of night and it feels fulfilling to do it. I think that what I had to lose in that was the woman who was ashamed of that, who was embarrassed by that, to lose, you know, I would have 15 years ago thought to myself like, how, like my, like my family is going to judge me because I don't do anything with my life. And to be comfortable in saying, what I do within my household is worthwhile. And it brings me joy and that's reason enough. Like it doesn't have to be, I don't have to justify my daily function or my existence to anybody else on earth. And so I think that I found who I meant to be and I'm constantly reinventing myself, you know, I hate labels in our community. I feel like my most accurate label, even though I've worn submissive enslaved for a long time, the most authentic one for me is evolving. I'm just evolving. I'm all the time, you know, my guy says, if you're not growing, you're dying. And if you're not growing into who you're going to be in a year or five years, are you making progress in who you are? And so I think, yeah, I think I've really found myself and that is being comfortable, being judged by people in society, by society. You know, 1950s house, so being a 1950s style homemaker isn't really popular with, it's not a really popular job choice. I'll say that. Sure. You do get judgment for it. You do get questions about it. Some people think you don't do enough. Some people, yeah, but that's okay because at the end of the day, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and feel good about that. Sure. Sure. Thank you. Thank you for that answer. I very much appreciate it. Yeah. We've talked about head of household and homemaker, what other terminology do we need to be familiar with? I would say, um, so like I had, I had briefly mentioned, there's crossover. A lot of people use taken in hand or it's like abbreviated with T.I.H. Like taken in hand, CDD, which is Christian domestic discipline, DD, which is domestic discipline, those are probably all good references and all three of them kind of fall under the umbrella of people who submit because they're religion, which there's a lot of people, there's a lot of people on earth who submit to their husband or submit to their partner because they believe it's the right thing to do for their spirituality. Not us, it's not me, but that's okay. In hand, kind of refers to the, what we consider to be the dynamic portion of what it is that we do. So it's the function of submitting to your partner's will. And then the, the, CDD, the Christian domestic discipline and domestic discipline is more what we refer to as like SNM, like spankings, things like that. But they typically the difference is going to be that everybody falling under those umbrella traditionally don't, they don't admit or they don't, they don't, they're truly not turned on by it. So it's kind of a difference between like 1950s households and like somebody out there doing, they think that domestic discipline is about exerting physical power to discipline, to like keep your partner under your authority, but they say it doesn't turn them out. And like I get daily spankings, maintenance, spankings, but like it's because my guy likes to like throw me over his knee and like up my little, you know, my little skirt and paddle my bottom. It's definitely is because it turns us on has nothing to do with, with, with, with spirituality in any way, shape or form. People talk a lot about, step bird wife, which is a, which is an interesting like subset of 1950s households. So typically 1950s homemaker in the community is thought of like a, a capable, a helper, helpmate, follower to a head of household. Another very similar relationship dynamic style is CEO and COO. I find, there's a lot of crossover where the, the person on the left side of the slash is going to be a CEO like big picture person makes all the big decisions and then like the submissive partner is in charge of operations. So like making things function. Steppered wife is going to be a little bit different. People reference it a lot, but it really truly means that brainless, spineless like dormat, like yes or no sir, no opinions side of 1950s household, but that's not the norm. And then probably the last one that people reference is like the vocation often exists in the community, especially because we're tailoring. So many people tailored the look of 1950s household where they're looking like making adjustments to that, that glamorous that the look of the 1950s. And so that happens sometimes and sometimes some people don't do it. I would say those are some of the most important ones. I was going to say the step for wife when sounds like it's not, it doesn't sound like it's realistic long term. And yeah, it would be hard. I mean, what being a household manager, doing what I do specifically, it's hard, like it's a lot of moving parts. We live in two, we have homes in two continents, my husband's over the 15 years, he's built his business. Well, at the beginning of our 1950s household, he was working for somebody as an employee and decided about five years in came to me and said like, I want to risk it all because when you're in the community that we're in, it can all be taken away from you if they're wrong people find out or if people get, you know, we all kind of like to fly in the radar. But when you only have one of you working, it felt very risky. And so he came to me and said he wanted to start his own business and I supported him through that. And now, you know, we own offices in two different countries, we fly back and forth. He's built a really big business and big world that nobody could ever take away from us that we have set up. He set it up for us for the rest of our lives to function and be comfortable and it takes a lot of moving parts to do that. I can't imagine doing that and being that and I don't think my husband could. So he's not into that only in that he needs somebody capable. He needs more than delicious cakes. He needs delicious cakes. He needs delicious cakes too. He needs delicious cakes made by his beautiful wife and an apron. But he also wants like me to be able to troubleshoot big issues in his business or come in and he'll hand me, you know, instructions on I need to execute this big idea. Tell me how it's going to happen. And he needs me to be able to handle that stuff. But it will be hard. It's kind of fun sometimes to play pretend like you're just serving up scotch at the end of the night. Right. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to diminish the step for a wife. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can feel it. Okay, good. Because I was like, no, I'm just sitting here going, man, that would just be difficult, long term to be like that. Yeah. I'm sure there are people that are out there to accept. But I'm like, just, I'm going, you know, in order to be, I guess, in order to, unless you are independently wealthy and, you know, didn't have to work, I mean, you know, then that would be a whole other thing. Yeah. But, you know, as an active, a 1950s household, you know, to me, I'm going, that doesn't make sense in order to, you know, do that long term, especially because both of you have, you know, so much to put into it, so much moving parts in order to make your home, you know, that much more successful, you know, in order to do that, like, just one of those that didn't make sense to me, type of that. Yeah, it's, you know, there's, there's a subset of the 1950s household and it makes me sickle a bit, but, and I can have my own personal opinion about it. But, um, sure. Where there are men who genuinely believe that women and children should be seen in that, like, that's, that's how they feel in life. And so, maybe that's how they want to run their household. And I'm hoping that everybody who gets involved knows exactly is what they're signing up for, just like I did. Right. And as long as everybody, consensually, is excited for that relationship dynamic, cool. I'm cool with that. Sure. But my guy, in fact, it was probably one of the, his biggest concerns coming into this dynamic. It was one of his biggest concerns pulling me out of the workforce, putting me into the household was, um, like me being whip smart and like excellent at what I do, like turns him on, like he likes that about me. He likes that I can get shit done. He likes that I can handle big projects. And so what he like, he uses, he uses me as that then. He just, uh, continues to use me to help our household in, in whether his business outside of the home needs that are my business inside of the home. Sure. He's using, I mean, it's, it's actually just what you're describing. It's part of your submission. It's part of, for sure. Yes. You know, as part of that, um, he's leaning into that in order to be like, hey, you have a brain. I want you to definitely use it because, you know, that's going to help us to further both of us. Well, and I feel like he thinks like it puts his dominance in like hard mode, like he is, oh, he owns a really capable, strong, wild woman in the world. Like I don't need, I don't need him. I can go function independently. Uh, you know, we always, we always describe, especially our master slave dynamic is I'm, I'm a beautiful bird that he's placed inside a cage and he, but he's left the door open because I can walk out. I have the means he's provided me with the means to leave whenever I want. He's, it was important to him that when I left my career and I came into the home that I had a stack of money with my name on it with it in, in my touch only, but if I ever want to leave, I can leave. I can walk out. I don't need him. I can go, he gives me, uh, I do volunteer work in his business, help him in his business in my free time. And I'm using, uh, quotes there because God, I figured out that I'm like, well, again, an answer email, but he's put me, he's put me in a position where I could continue building my, uh, resume in case he dies tomorrow. So he, and, and, uh, so I'm a bird. In a cage, he's left the door open. I can leave whenever I want, but he's made that cage so fucking amazing to live in. But like, I would never want to. I would never want to. It's, it's, it's, um, and so yeah, it's definitely part of like, I submit my will to him. He has to really like, he has to own this shit. Can you have to, you know, you know, you see what was it? Sure. Sure. Are there any myths about the 1950s household that you would like to dispel? Well, I think we probably touched on a lot of the big ones. Uh, probably the biggest myth is like the dormat, steppered wife myth that most of us are out there. Our only job is to like, look pretty and wait for our partners to come home. Um, there's probably a myth about, uh, like how much work it actually takes to run a household. Um, it's a lot like spoiler. Um, and, uh, yeah, I would say those are probably the main ones. And, um, I think another, I think, so I don't want to. Um, downplay the reality of, uh, how difficult it is to support a household, uh, off of one income. Uh, nowadays I, um, you know, when we, but I do want to say that when we have, we really, when we transition from two careers to one, we have to think outside the box a lot, um, and do things like go down to one, like I gave them my car. I gave them my freedom for a bit. Like I worked from home because, uh, we needed to cut expenses to build the life that we did and then focus on each of us in our own lane to build it back up to grow it again. Um, and you also save a lot by, uh, not working, uh, things like I can pour over, uh, multiple different grocery stores, uh, plant, you know, the, the weekly shopper to find things that are on sale. I know who has the best eggs in town. I know, um, stuff like that. And so, uh, I do think it's probably more possible, um, than, than someone believe, but I, I know it's hard. I know, um, but also to the, the myth that you have to be like a state home wife in order to live in a 1950s household. I think the number is, I think, homemaker in the 1950s on, uh, the, uh, in the, uh, census, I think housewife or homemaker was third in the list of careers for women. You can work. You don't have to stay home all day every day. You don't have to give up your job. You don't have to give up your income. Um, I know, uh, many, many homemakers who, um, work, go, go to work and then come home and bake their bread in their apron and feel beautiful doing it. And so their husbands and I think that's really lovely. I think everybody should do what works best for them in their household. And so you can definitely work and continue to do so. I was going to say, and, and just all of us you've described, both of you, if you're going to make it work for a 1950s household, definitely needs to put in the effort in the time, not just okay. And then you can put this up and all right, you figured out. Yeah. Um, I know that, uh, there is a, uh, it always circulates. It's called the good wife, skyd, uh, whenever people start googling, 1950s relationships, an old school, like women's day magazine article comes up about like what a woman should do like prepare yourself, uh, before your husband gets home, take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. It's like there's a whole lot of description about what the woman is obligated to, what the women are that the homemaker is obligated to, um, but not a lot of focus is ever put upon the dominant or the, uh, head of household is obligated to when we wrote, uh, our essay for Paradise of Power, we included like, it's essentially the, the, the good husband's guide or the gentleman dominant, dominant skyd of like the things, the high standards that like as a dominant, my husband holds himself to and the importance of putting in just as much work, just as much effort, um, as, as the homemaker is putting in to make, to make sure that power is being exchanged equally. Definitely makes sense. Yeah. Well, before we, uh, transition into the part of the show, we like to call inside the Kingston studio, is there anything else? You would like to share on the 1950s household. I don't think so. Nothing for myself. I just want to remind, uh, everybody underneath the BDSM umbrella again to, uh, listen to people take what they're doing with a bit of a grain of salt. If you find something here, something that you're, uh, interested in, do it your way. There is no one true way. Um, work on finding who you authentically are, what you want out of a partner and a, a dynamic and then, uh, be excited to seek that out and leave the rest behind. Like don't, you don't have to do what I do. You don't have to do what anybody else does. Thank you very much for that. I like that. Mm hmm. Well, that was some great information on the 1950s household. I can't speak for a little bit, but I think I kind of recognized there's more of that in our dynamic, um, I've ever given the thought to. Interesting. Now we come to a part of the show that we like to call inside the Kingston studio where we get to know you a little better in our own unique, irreverent and slightly bratty way. Are you? Yes, let's go. I'm excited. All right. First question, what do you think your last words will be? Um, I feel like my last words are, um, I'm going to say, um, I'm going to say, um, I feel like my last words will be like some semblance of the sound of like, uh, of like relief. And some, some like, uh, like to be relieved to be, um, having arrived at the end of like a really beautiful, wonderful life. I hope, God, I hope that would be lovely. I could just be like, I would like that. I would like to think that it's, I love you to my friends and family. Uh, we, we have a policy we never ever, uh, like hang up the phone, leave the house, leave parting each other without saying I love you at the end of it because if it is the last time we ever see each other, we firmly want that to be the last person, the other person here. So whether it's going to work or going to bed or go into the grocery store like we never, I never, ever leave my husband never, ever, we never, ever leave each other without love you, love you too. Bye, bye, bye. Kind of stuff. So yeah, that, that'll be it because you never know. Nothing's ever promised. Right. This is true. Um, alright. So what is your favorite toy in the toy bag? Uh, and maybe it lends itself to like the 1950, I feel like the longer we play, the smaller, the amount of tools that we actually use and my single, I would say if I could only be left with one tool, it would simply be my husband's like belt and it feels so like quintessential, like husband and the day take his clothes off, take his belt off and like paddle me over my bottom with it feels very like old fashioned, like nothing new thing. I mean, we like I said, we do a lot of edge played bells and whistles, you know, hooks and vampire gloves and like all sorts of things. But if I, if there were one tool left, that's all I wouldn't. Nice. Thank you. What is your favorite smell? My, my gut instinct is like my husband like cuddle up next to him, but like that feels so try. I'm trying to think of anything like fun and cool, uh, rubbing alcohol is a favorite. I love the smell of rubbing alcohol. It's so clean. It takes all, it takes like ink off of desks. Um, it's like one of my favorite like cleaning materials is rubbing alcohol. So husband first, that's my like go to, but if you want like a fun answer, that's not just like, oh, I love my husband. Rubbing alcohol. What's actually what's something surprising you've learned about yourself through all of those? I am so much stronger than I ever like thought I was. And I thought I was capable like I've handled really big things that I thought would crumble me, but like I, my, uh, one of my favorite like images, it would be like a phoenix. So like I feel like I constantly rise from the ashes, like just set me on fire. That's, that's fine because I'll rise up like I'll get through anything. I'm very resilient. And I'm surprised by that because I am an emotional person. I have a very tender, caring heart. I am very sensitive thing, you know, I cry daily probably over like happy thing. It doesn't matter like for a sensitive as I am. I'm also very strong. I would say that's very surprising to me. Very cool. Thank you. Who is your first ever celebrity crush? Probably, um, uh, Leonardo DiCaprio and Romeo and Juliet and the like modern version of it. Is did he play, he played Romeo, I think, probably that, probably that, probably that. Okay. I think we know exactly how old you are. Yeah, I'm like, this is going to be instantly like, not not that much. Yeah, I would say he's probably pretty recognized the, uh, the main character and crew and he's, he was pretty fucking dreamy. And so yeah, those pretty boring, romantic, romantic stories. Like Ryan Philippine and Sarah Michelle Keller. Yeah, both of them. Can I like take, can I take both of them in some equation? I thought the same with clandings and romantic. I'm like, can we just like throw them on the pile of like beautiful people doing romantic things like yes, like sexy romantic, yes, all of that. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I'm bisexual. So I find like, you know, everybody, lots of people all kinds of attractive and, yeah, yeah, for sure. Oh, did it, did it, did it, how many gangsters does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go with two, like one to tell somebody how to do it in the other to follow directions. That's who that looks. I feel like that's how it would be in my asshole. So it would take the two of us for sure. That's fair. That's fair. If you had to fight any historical figure, who would it be and why? And like my like my only answer is like Hitler because it's Hitler. Like if I'm going to fight somebody to stop somebody on earth, like I'm a very gentle spirit, but I feel like I can fuck that guy up. Like put like, like I'll throw down like I'm ready to punch some Nazis that the, you know, I'm fucking I can't that would be my, that's my gut instinct because fuck them and fuck that guy. Well, yeah. Right. Yes. Like yes. I'd probably lose. I'm not a very good fighter, but that's okay. I would go down trying. I'm always up the, I know how to use implements very, very like all of the equipment. Oh, yeah, I know how to do nothing. I'm like, like, like, like my tool is a feather duster. I'm like, what am I going to do? I'm going to like distract you. I'm going to go in. But see, like, I feel like I could fly incognito. So like, can I fight by way of like, I'm just here to clean and then ignore me. And that puts some poison in your cup. Well, like that's fighting to see it is. Are you start baking, baking people in a pie? Listen. Well, there's other ways to fight. Look, it's one of those like you do housewife stuff and as a 50, 1950s housewife, I am pretty damn certain you have like some pretty sharp skills with the knife. I do. So an excellent knife. I could use that. And how to like hide though I should probably still have this key. Yes, let's keep the, you know, I'm, I'm going to like, you know, I'm criminating somebody on something. It should something happen, right? They'll be playing this in part my day. We're not doing anything. No, this is just, this is, we're talking baking. This exactly. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I could be, I could be able to wouldn't spoon. Mm-hmm. I can fact somebody up with the wooden spoon. Like, I can't stand in a kitchen. Yeah, hard with the wooden spoon. Like, I can do something like you can do something, put like get their necktie stuck in it. Like, there's ways, there's ways you could like use the kitchen, not that I know of course. I only know how to bake meringue. True. I would gladly turn this over to state evidence if it's been when the situation is. That's fine. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like the, the most like morally, like pure, like I want to be like a really, I'm like, a good girl. Like, I live for like, good girl, pat on the head. So like, I ain't doing shit wrong. So I'm not worried about it being evident day. I'm just sitting here. I'm just sitting. How long and at what temperature to put somebody in the oven for? That's what, that's what, that's what I do is I troubleshoot things. So I'm quick on my feet. Right. There you go. It depends on how big the bag is. Right, right. Right. Yeah. Add five degrees for a cup. Oh, God. There are five minutes. I'm sorry. Five minutes for every pound. Oh, my God. What? It's on the, it's what, it's on every single recipe card when you put it in the meal. It is. Yeah. That's five minutes for every pound. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. What is serenium? But what is one of the most useless skills that you might possess, that you yourself possess? Youseless skill. Yep. Um, I'm trying to think I'm really good at keeping walls clean. Like I said, that magic eraser. I'm really good at like I'm looking around the room. I'm in not one scuff mark because I'm really excellent at like utilizing a magic eraser to get like the illusion of clean. My goal in cleaning is to keep my home. I guess this is probably a pretty useless skill, but my home is always expected to be 15 minutes to company ready. That's like the standard. So like my husband can call me right now or text me right now and say in 15 minutes, I'm bringing a client by. And I have to be like in a pretty dress with my face made up my my. I have a welcoming clean home. I probably have drinks, a special non alcoholic and alcoholic drinks available. A nice treat. I can throw like pull from the freezer and throw into like an air fryer and oven and have ready a 15 minute window. And so I would say keeping my walls clean are part of that. 15 minutes. I don't know if that's useless. I'm rather jealous. It feels Jesus is not important. It's not important. It doesn't feel like an important thing in the world and in the grand scheme of what's important on earth. My walls not having scuff marks on them are seen very unimportant. I guess there's bigger things. Okay. Okay, fair enough. I will concede that point then. I will concede that. Can you eat ice cream with your bare hands? Yes. Yeah. I promise this is not a two question. Yeah. Yes. Sure. Sure. I'm like, I can't only because, you know, the ice cream going between my fingers gets sticky. But you could. Would you want to? No. I absolutely. That's a whole different thing. I think you could. Yeah. Sure. You could. Yes. Do I want to? I mean, could I want to? No. I don't like messy. I don't like filthy. I don't like dirty. I don't like sticky. I'm like, I'm not into that. No. I don't want to. But could you? Yes, of course. Practically sure. And what methodology do you think would work best? I mean, I'm just envisioning like a hand going to grab a fist out of a card in the ice cream. Right? Like that ice cream with your hand. You just. This. Oh, a fuck a double ice cream. No, you just fisted in. I mean, could you? A hard question is like, how old would you do it? You just eat. You just. Biston to. I mean, I. I'm sure you're using my hand as a bowl and lifting it up to my mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. You just got to. Maybe. Probably you would have to let it soften a bit if we're going to be practical. You probably need to let it sit on the counter and soften a little bit. And then scoop it into your hand and then bring it to your mouth. Yes. Yeah. That's the answer. If we're going to be practical. About bare, bare hand eating ice cream. Because that's very practical. Look, there are some of us that are so rather practical in this and then there are some of us. Rabbi, who is like, you know, absolutely chaotic when it comes to like some of the things. Yeah. Really don't right? Yeah. It's like some of us are like, no, no, we are still like practical on this and then he's like, not me. I'm just going to be absolutely chaotic about it. Oh, God. I mean, I feel like in theory, you if you take a it can you use a cone as like as a, is it is using your bare hand to pick up a cone and put it into the ice cream to scoop it up to avoid getting the ice cream on your hand? Or does that not qualify for eating ice cream with your bare hand? I mean, technically, a spoon would be the same thing. So if you have your hand, which is a bare hand and look that's gloved, you're using your bare hand to eat ice cream all the time. You just have a tool between you and the ice cream between the bare hand and the ice cream. I love the rest. I'm absolutely enjoying this. I don't think that's you don't think that in the spirit of the question. I'm going to cry because. All right. Time for the reverse Uno card, which means you get to ask us any question you want to ask, but. Not if somebody is already asked to ask us. Okay, so this is like my go to question that I reserve for like when I meet new people or if I'm like at a dinner party, this is like how I'm engaged in conversation. So I'm going to list off three things. And it would like you to respond placing those three things in order of what you think is the most likely to be a real thing or to be true. Down to the least likely. Okay, are you ready for the list of three? Oh, I'm going to give you aliens. God like an all seeing all being power aliens God and ghosts like spirits walking around earth. So you're going to rank them in like number one, most likely definitely probably true is going to be either God ghosts or aliens and then two and then three. I believe God is the ghost of an alien. So you're like ABC one a. Yeah, see having here's my issue so I'm knowing enough science and enough reality and enough things even through my biology classes. A lot of my biology professors were like, yeah, you know, do not discredit a higher. Interesting. And, you know, there has been science behind, you know, finding spirits and the different things like that. So I can't quite hear. It's hard. It's like, you know, one most to least likely because I'm like, I know, damn well, we are not the only one living creatures in this universe. Have they gotten to a ship? Are they like showing up and being like looking at us going, well, they aren't quite ready to meet us yet. So, oh, they're doing this shit. Fuck that. We'll come back later. There's no intelligent life. They have a master. They're not quite intelligent yet. Well, maybe those few people are, but the rest of them. We're going to give it a little. Right. And, you know, I can't discredit a lot of things just because, you know, there are certain things just from how... Yeah. Even though I am a re... So I am a recovering Catholic. And I say this definitely only, you know, just knowing all of that and knowing just how I was brought up to, you know, really think and experience. And it's been a lot of different things. I can't say. Least likely on any of them for me. Well, thank you for sharing. So, yeah. No problem. Welcome. Aliens ghost god. Aliens ghost god. God. It's so funny because there are some people who, when you ask them when you begin asking the question, some people are like the your first response and really thoughtful and open to all of them and like very difficult. And there are some people who firmly believe they know the answer and it's correct. So you answered that very emphatically, like definitely, like how you feel really confident in that. Right. Yeah. I mean, I have read actual scientific papers that state octopuses are descendant from aliens. Yeah. Same. Alien ghost god. Yeah. I think that's minus fault. Had you feel like you've had an experience with spirits? Oh, absolutely. My parents live in a house that is 220 some years old. Interesting. So, there was always some sort of odd energy around. Yeah. Well, I was going to say we were also at the reform. Oh, yeah. And I was like, that was so known. What a bad thing. The Ohio State reformatory, which was is now a tourist attraction, but it was also the set for Shawshanker Conch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's actually, I mean, they're like, yeah, legit, it's haunted and they take you through certain, certain rooms and such like that, that they're like, be aware if you are sensitive to ghosts and those energies. Yeah. You know, you can either still see things people have caught stuff on cameras. Some sort of people have actually felt things and rabbi and I were going through and like, I'm taking my time through this room going, wow, this is really cool. Like, you know, like looking for different things and all of a sudden, like he comes through and he is green at the gills and sweating and his heart. And he feels like he's going to pass out and he said, I just felt something go through me. I felt like I walked through it. Yeah. Just the boatway. Yeah. Yeah. So we had to move through that area because all of a sudden he's like, I'm feeling rather sensitive and, you know, not feeling good because I, you know, either, you know, as you said, you went through or walked through the ghost. Yeah. And in order to get him to a less, less energetic area that was known to have, you know, ghosts and everything like that for him to start to feel a little bit more on even. Yeah, it was, it was very much a specific place, but outside of the ghost thing, that would have been a great place to have a play. I know, right. I know. It's all dark and stuff like that. I was in a, I was traveling. I don't know if you've seen stranger things. The prison that they were in. I'm quotation mark Russian prison that they had him in in one of the last seasons. I felt so like it was a combination of like so dark, so creepy, so like, but also like historically beautiful. That I'm like, oh my god, like you can fuck the type people up here. I'm like, of course you can. If there's risen bars everywhere, knock it off. But like that's not what this tour is for. Like me in a cage. No, just stop it. So final questions to bring this back on to come. We're having a good time. Yeah, I have a great time. You guys are awesome. Oh, thank you. All right, my final question, which favorite swear word? I mean, like it's got to be fuck. It's the most common one. It's most applicable in the most amount of ways. I would say, fuck is probably my favorite. Yeah, yeah, I know it's boring, but it's my it's like it's like an old hat that you wear. It like feels like it feels comfortable leaving the lips. Well, yeah, and it's so versatile. It's positive. It's negative. It's like it's a verb. It's now like it's like all it's everything. It's like it's got to be. I feel like it's got to be that. So somebody I wanted to follow you on social media reach out and contact you. How would be the best way they do that? If you're in the King Community and have a fat life profile, like probably fat male is the best. It's Mrs. Darling MRS D-A-R-L-I-N-G. And then if you are not comfortable using that website, I understand you can always email. It's writer R-Y-D-E-R and darling and D-D-D-A-R-L-N-G at gmail.com. So writer and darling I serve master writer. That's really like the true notion of my name. Like I publish under Mrs. Darling and my writing. But it's actually master writer, darling. Mrs. Darling's also like the mom from Peter Pan. Like I don't know if you remember like the Disney. Oh, it's Mrs. Darling. She's like, you know, oh, come on, darling. So I'm going to go like I'm going out on a hot date with my husband, Mr. Darling. And that's when they get, but so it's a combination of those two things. But so it's writer and darling at gmail.com. So it's the best place for email. Yeah, it's the best place is. Gotcha. Well, thank you for coming on the show. Oh, you guys, I had so much fun. Yeah, you've been a great guest. I've enjoyed learning about the 1950s household. For listeners upcoming synagogue classes in person and virtual. Electric mayhem. Electric play with the Violet Wand. Electric mayhem 2. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand. Electric play beyond the Violet Wand.